SALT ~ This week ~ Grow
As we keep growing in age we also grow in terms of maturity and understanding. We learn so many things as we continue meeting people and keep experiencing various things. In the process of growing we have two options - either we grow as a creeper or a tree.
Creeper as we all know needs constant support to keep growing while a tree stands tall for itself. Same ways some of us need people's support to grow while some of us are lone warriors who grow like a tree without any support. There is nothing wrong in being either of them. As for each one of us there are circumstances where we have support of our family and loved ones to grow while sometimes we are all alone to fight our own battles. Its the transition from a being a creeper to a tree that causes us a lot of pain and grief as till now we were used to support and when suddenly we lose it we don't know how to handle things without it. It is a difficult situation for one to be in but it surely leaves us more stronger.
Lesson
Learnt: Sometimes it is good to be a creeper but sometimes life commands us to be a tree; and leaves us with no option.
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PEPPER ~ This week ~ Teach
It is said that a child's psyche is fully developed by the time he/she is 5 years old. Till the age of 5 they are like wet slabs of cement. Everything we do or say leaves an everlasting imprint on them.What a child learns in this time is what defines most of the habits we have as individuals. We see our father saying ,' I don't like this vegetable...make me something else' We interpret there is an option called dislike which can be used and you can get whatever you want. Result- the child becomes fussy about food.The child sees us discussing people in derogatory terms and concludes they are bad based on our opinion. They we talk with our partner, friends and family decides the way the child behaves with them.
The major concern in this whole issue is when the child grows up and we start criticizing them for their habits without realizing we lay the base for this. We sowed the seeds of these things and now we are bearing its fruits. It is wrong to expect our child to be something we are not because the child leads by example. He/she believes what he sees and does what he believes. After so many years it is difficult to change the roots as it could mean uprooting the tree completely.
Lesson Learnt : Teach your child to be rationale and let him/her form their own opinions. In front of your child be the adult you want them to be.
Great post! I loved the creeper/tree comparison... it's so true. While it seems easy to be a creeper, we must learn to be independent too.
ReplyDeleteAnd totally agree with you on behaving in front of kids! They don't know anything and they learn what they see. Nicely put! :)
PS- Finally I found your blog! :P
Welcome here Ashna,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Glad you agree with my thoughts :)
Hope to see here more often.
"In front of your child be the adult you want them to be."
ReplyDeleteThat is one of my biggest concerns, and it really hurts. I know that the examples my children are seeing are two extremely bad ones. I know it and however I am trying to change that reality, it's not working. I sometimes feel I am ruining their life
I can understand it very well Nikky...but I also strongly believe that a problem recognised is half solved. And when you consciously make an attempt it can never fail believe me. I am sure you are doing an excellent job though you might not be able to see the results now but in the long run you will definately see them. And your children will be proud of the way you have brought them up!
DeleteTake care dear....
Thank you very much. I certainly don't want my daughters to be abused nor my son to be an abuser :(
DeleteI am doing all I can.
I am sure given all the efforts you are putting in to shield them from all of this , they will never be any of it ever.
Delete"Its the transition from a being a creeper to a tree that causes us a lot of pain and grief as till now we were used to support and when suddenly we lose it we don't know how to handle things without it."...Loved this line..The transition is perhaps the most crucial time for each one of us.
ReplyDeleteKids always emulate the adults.."Be the adult you want them to be"... so apt..
Lovely and inspiring post :)
Yes the transition is the real test we all face at some point or other in our lives which makes us stronger.
DeleteThank you so much!
To grow and to teach . . . wonderful images! The tree and the creeper are so like the message in my recent post. And, yes, we must model the behaviors we want to see in our children if we wish them to one day thrive as adults.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice and inspiration!
Blessings!
Oh yes Martha, now that you mention I recollect reading about the support system we have of friends around us and commenting on it too.
DeleteThank you very much for your kind words. Appreciate the same.
Hi
ReplyDeleteAwesome post...As a mother of a 3 yr old I clearly know the importance of 'In front of your child be the adult you want them to be.' ...Its easier said than done though, as adults are also in the learning process and each one is unique.
And loved the lines about the creeper and the tree.
Hello,
DeleteI agree completely, it is easier said than done. Bringing up a child is perhaps the biggest challenge one could be faced with.
Thank you very much. I am glad you liked them!
Beautifully put!
ReplyDeleteThanks
DeleteThank you very much. Very useful.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you feel so Mak, I appreciate it a lot.
DeleteWonderful comparison. The first story is what life always throws at you. And second, I am experiencing it first hand. Trying to lead by example, hope I get successful.
ReplyDelete:o)
DeleteLife is a pro at catching us unawares always by throwing surprises at us always. A genuine effort from our end is all that is required to ensure it is successful. I am sure you are doing it !
Nice!
ReplyDeleteIts true that we grow as creepers at times, groping for support all the way.. and sometimes we are a tree.. standing strong, and supporting the creepers that we once were.. :)
really nice thought :)
Wow...beautiful thought Saloni' ometimes we are a tree.. standing strong, and supporting the creepers that we once were.. :)'
DeleteLoved it!
Thanks :)
:) :)
DeleteThank you! and welcome ;)
dang--this is such a well-laid out post--I got your message head-on! Yes, got the message. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThat was a really superb comment Bhavana..thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
DeleteSo true! As a parent we are our children's first teacher! I have been very sensitive too that!
ReplyDeleteYes very true, we are indeed a child 's first teacher.
DeleteThanks for being here Sea Green Natural :)
Great reflections. So true that life's circumstances can make it so that at times it's necessary to learn and grow as a creeper or do so as a tree by going solo.
ReplyDeleteAn important lesson at the end of how we can sow the seeds for our children's future habits. It's so important to be perceptive around children...though difficult indeed. I can't help but think that most of us parents are going to make some mistake which will cultivate our children into developing some kind of negative trait or habit as we are bearing our own fruit of which was conceived generations before us. I guess all we can do is try out best.
I completely agree with you Jessica. All we can do is try our best because most of the times things are not in our hands at all..
DeleteThanks so much for being here Jessica, glad you liked it!
Valuable lessons here. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Janu!
DeleteGrow:
ReplyDeleteSome very deep rational thoughts...loved it a lot...yes...growing is not enough...how we grow is also important and than...transition from Creeper to a tree is of utmost difficulty...creeper to tree...situation is taught by time as we don't have the support of out loving and caring guide be it our parents or any other person through out our lives...!!!
Teach:
If we have roped in a babul tree we can never expect mangoes...you are absolutely right in your view and i totally agree with you...whatever a child becomes out to be in future much of it is formed during the initial period of infancy...!!!
another good inspiring story for everyone to learn...loved it...!!!
I believe life is the best teacher each one of us has. It teaches us through example, in our lives or in people around us. It is for us to see those lessons, learn them and remember for the lifetime. I am glad you found it inspiring and loved it :)
DeleteGrowing is an unavoidable part of life which we are most of the times not prepared for. As it comes as a surprise to us and shocks us!
Childhood is the best stage of anyone's life where we learn some of the most important lessons of life hence it is important to lay the foundation right for it.
Like your all the the other Salt and Pepper this is also very simple and crisp. You know I felt over the time you have developed the creativity of writing, writing simple things in a creative manner. Sorry for the comparison but I felt so, so thought of mentioning to you.
ReplyDeleteGrow: The one think I remember form our conversation is Banyan tree. And I think we always want to be like it. Calm and powerful to withstand all the storms :)
Teach: I agree with you here. It's precisely like this whatever you will sow that only you are going to reap so there is not point at cribbing. And I always feel it is not only true for parent and child relation but it's true in every relationship.:) Because we always learn form each other. As I am learning so many things form this Salt and Pepper series :) Thanks ! :)
Keep writing and striving for Banyan tree if you still want to be one. :)
Oh wow... that was an amazing compliment!
DeleteAm truly honoured to read that.
Yes I still strive to be a banyan tree and I will be one soon :D
Its a pleasure to know that I am able to share the lessons of life with you here..........