To the lady who taught me love

Source: HuffPost

Dear M,

Tonight, as I lie down on my bed like always, I cannot help but think of you. Lying down on my stomach, I am reading a novel while the faint voice of Noor Jahan fills the air ".... Hamari saanson main aaj tak woh…". Cool breeze plays with my hair while the tingling sounds of the wind chime, add to the whole feel of the moment.

I think of you, because that is how I remember you... always and all ways. Your hair, open, dancing in the air as you lie down on your bed with some novel. A heart-touching melody playing in background while you flip pages of that book with your long, sharp and brightly coloured nails which shine in the tender lights. A slight smile on your face now and then depicting that you are enjoying it all. I will always think of you like this - pristine and poetically beautiful.

Not many years ago, I remember so many of such evenings we spent together in that rented accommodation we called home. How you introduced me to Gulzar and Kishore, while I introduced you to the newer singers. And how every night, we mutually decided which one would play, while we continued with our routine work individually. I have lost the count of movies we went to see together but I do remember how each evening was an evening well spent and how it added to the memory bank, I still cherish for years today. Of course, not to forget the uncountable shows of Mughal-E-Azam we managed together purely for the love of that one epic song which we would sing together loudly much to the chagrin of others.

I do not remember our first meeting but like all usual ones, I am sure it must have started with an awkward hello. Little did we know, that we would actually become friends, or rather... close friends. Given our age difference, it was difficult to imagine a friendship between us. But we did manage that and a deeper bond at that.Our mutual love for music, books and movies ensured we never ran out of things to talk about. 

With you I realised the joy of lipsticks. Coming from a highly conservative family, use of lipsticks of any make up items was frowned upon at my father's place. You made me fall in love with them. I saw how they make you feel confident and sassy. How that slight touch of colour on your face, makes you feel so good about yourself. I bought a lipstick last week after ages and my first thought was YOU, because the shade reminded me of that brown lipstick you wore so frequently.

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I learnt from you how every penny you spend matters and all those thousands that you earn are for a rainy day. I still plan my spending and have that diary with detailed break up of all expenses ever. From you I learnt how life, though never running on our terms, can always be enjoyed. How there is always something to be happy about despite all that goes wrong and how living in the moment is the key to be happy. I never knew myself till then. It won't be wrong if I say so. I never had the opportunity to do so but you introduced me to a newer me, made me feel good about my flaws and helped me build on my strengths. You redefined sisterhood for me!

I don't know if I have ever told you this often but I admire you a lot. I look up to you. Your grace and your ability to sail through some of the toughest storms of life is what pushes me to keep doing so. I may not say this often M, but I think of you and remember how you never taught me anything. Rather you lived your life in a manner that in itself was a message for me. You never stopped me from making mistakes but were always there to catch me incase I missed a step. You taught me love, how to love myself and how to love life. You ensured I saw the beauty around me in everything. I met you after one of the most darkest phases of my life and you made sure I never lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. You were right M, things do get better. 

I know I do not need to say this but at times, you need to say it just so that it stays in your heart and mind. I want you to know you are and will always be cherished and loved. Thanks might be a small word, so here is a tight hug wrapped in these words for you to bask in whenever you need a reminder of how much you matter!

Hugs

N