Meraki ~ 8 (#1000 speak compassion)



Few weeks ago I had written a post on mental health. After that post I got a lot of "It's okay" messages from known and unknown people. Surprisingly we are aware that there are a lot of physical issues that we can suffer from and are willing to acknowledge it but when it comes to mental health we chose silence over anything else.

I almost fought with someone when I was told, " You are not the only one who has faced it. Its okay!" I was angry would be a small word. I was hyper ventilating. I wanted to scream. But then I realised it comes from someone who doesn't know my pain and is trying to be a judge when all I was looking for was a patient listener.

I have 2 friends in my life who suffer from serious mental health issues and I claim very proudly that I am their 3 am friend in every manner. Yes, it does get painful at times when they are at their lowest but I have a pact with them. It is WE - me and that friend, they are not doing anything alone. If they want to cry we cry together, if they want to do self harm I try and talk them out of it. The only solace is I know they are not alone and will not end up doing something they will regret. Many times it happens that I am unable to comprehend what they are bothered with but then I have never said It's okay because those two words are criminal to be said to someone who is in pain. It is NOT okay, if it would have been it wouldn't have hurt so badly. Though I have never met them till date I know that today I am in their trusted circles, so much that I am privy to even their worst thoughts which are borderline bizarre.I try hard to understand where they are coming from rather than apply my logic and to quite an extent I am successful.

I am asked how do we deal with such things and all I can say is BE, just be there with them in that moment. Nothing else matters! I wish we understood we all have different parameters for everything including pain. What is not bad for you, might be"Ouch that hurts bad" for me. Can't we just be a bit more empathetic and compassionate? Especially knowing that person is already fighting a fierce battle in life and that too all alone!

Perhaps this is how it has always been and will always be. We will not want to listen but want to be heard. We would want to be understood but refuse to understand. We would want others to feel our pain but never even try to imagine the plight and pain of others.

Comments

  1. i understand the borderline bizarre thing that you are hinting at.. it's terrible and inexplicable, void throughout and horribly lonely.. I never would want to go back to feeling such.. Perhaps some people say 'it's ok' because they want to give solace, help in some way, some soothing way.. I think I have tried either to ignore or forgive them... they are not so deep as I am...they won't understand....

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    1. Even I thought the same. I felt sorry that despite all the education nad world class upbringing they lack compassion.

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  2. It is all you can do to simply "be" with someone who is hurting. No, we may not understand the depth and width and height of their pain, but because we listen with a caring, nonjudgmental heart, can make all the difference in easing their suffering.
    We need to listen more, understand more, and pray more.
    Blessings, Privy!

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    1. Very true Martha, thank you for stopping by!

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  3. Powerful post. It's easy to judge when we are not in someone's shoes and it irks me to no end with such people. Let's pay an attentive ear to people.

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  4. You know I lost my cousin last year to depression. She was doing so well in life and was at the peak of her career. I met her a few days before that fateful day and couldn't understand the turmoil she was going through. Then one day, I got to know about her suicide and my world shattered with the news.
    Later, I came to know that she wanted compassion and understanding from her parents, but they made her feel it is okay and she will be fine...that she was over reacting. So she started hiding it all, behind a smiling facade.
    It is so wrong to use such words when a person tells someone about her problem. I am glad to know that you are there with your friends always. Wish I could be there with her and saved her :'(

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  5. Now a days depression has become common.Loneliness and are work-pressures add to its intensity.Impressive post.

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