From the attic of memories ~ Day # 6 (On survival)


Wake up Sid had released. As a movie it was dreamy and as a concept it felt so close to heart. I had set my foot in Mumbai for the first time as a child and had fallen in love with this city of dreams. 2004, I was back to this city. This time as an adult for an interview which was typically my first solo trip ever. This city has remained to me what I like to call my first love. You might break up and go however far you want, but there is a strange solace that you experience only here. In the next few years I was making frequent work trips to this magical city and every trip added more smiles to my dreary existence. 

My love for Mumbai was what made this movie special because Mumbai is the narrator of this story. I have always believed this city breathes and this movie makes me hear its heartbeats in those tiny stories that come together to define Mumbai, a city with a heart. The most amazing part of this movie for me has to be the beautiful house Konkana Sen Sharma is shown livin…

My mother's playlist (Fiction)

My father hated music.
Well honestly, hate isn't the appropriate word to describe his feeling towards it. Our house was a silent zone 24 * 7. There wasn't pin drop silence, however. All that resonated within those four walls were voices that had no right to exist. Screams, abuses, sounds of things being thrown and broken and the dull noise created by slaps or beatings.

Looking back

The whole internet is abuzz with how within the next a month and a half a decade will be ending. The discussions are around what all has everyone achieved in this decade. This made me think a lot. For starters I felt I have not achieved anything substantial but on more thinking I concluded, who defines substantial. I believe I have achieved a lot and so decided to document it here, just to remind myself how smallest of things actually add up to make the biggest of difference to one's life.
“We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?” ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

To the lady who taught me love

Dear M,
Tonight, as I lie down on my bed like always, I cannot help but think of you. Lying down on my stomach, I am reading a novel while the faint voice of Noor Jahan fills the air ".... Hamari saanson main aaj tak woh…". Cool breeze plays with my hair while the tingling sounds of the wind chime, add to the whole feel of the moment.
I think of you, because that is how I remember you... always and all ways. Your hair, open, dancing in the air as you lie down on your bed with some novel. A heart-touching melody playing in background while you flip pages of that book with your long, sharp and brightly coloured nails which shine in the tender lights. A slight smile on your face now and then depicting that you are enjoying it all. I will always think of you like this - pristine and poetically beautiful.

Childhood Lessons from Masoom: A movie that grows with me

Masoom (Translated: Innocent) is a Hindi movie which released in 1983. Starring legendary actors Naseeruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi, this movie also featured future Bollywood actors Urmila Matondkar and Jugal Hansraj.
Inspired by the famous novel Man, woman and child by Erich Segal, this movie revolves around the illegitimate son of Nasseruddin Shah from his previous lover. Till then they all are blissfully unaware about his existence. Nasseruddin Shah is happily married to Shabana Azmi with two daughters. The arrival of this son creates havoc in their lives and the rest of the story is based on their reactions to this new truth of their life.

Random Thoughts- On adulting

Childhood was so blissful and easy to be in. There was no pretense at all. If you were cranky, you were cranky. If you hated someone you could say,' I hate you!' with equal vengeance. And if you really liked someone you could display your affection in whatever way you wanted to.

From the attic of memories ~ Day # 8 (On privilege)

Privilege [ˈprɪvɪlɪdʒ]  NOUN a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. 
Privilege comes in different forms. I am privileged in more than one ways and still I at times struggle to understand the reality of a situation. Though I do make conscious attempts, I will confess I fail myself a lot. Over the last few years, the number has ofcourse come down and am still learning. But the fact that it needs to be spoken about, doesn't take away anything from the seriousness of this issue. 

Gratitude Post # 5 - September 2019

Last weekend I had gone grocery shopping. Sounds like the most normal thing to do, isn't it? But well when you have anxiety at it peak for weeks, it is a huge thing to do. On top of it, rains have been incessant for the past few weeks turning me into a homebody. I had began to detest this weather and on Saturday morning when the sun decided to shine through after what seemed like the quarter of a month I decided to go out and get some work done. It took me the longest to manage to reach the supermarket and the crowd there, almost deterred my spirit. However, I kept pushing myself and slowly strolled through the shelves with my headphones on, just to keep my anxiety in check.