Sitting thousands of miles away from the place I grew up calling home, this evening I have this strange feeling of being homesick. But to be home sick, I had to know where my home was isn’t it? The place I grew up was made up of bricks and mortar and could be called a house but never a home. It never eluded the warmth of being a home. Nevertheless, home it still was. It after all was my sole companion on all the silent nights I had spent crying alone and those unending days when detested being alive.
Today evening I simply craved for some familiarity perhaps. How strange is human mind! Amidst familiarity we desire the unfamiliar and surrounded by strangers today I was seeking some familiarity. I want to talk to someone. Not talk the usual talk, but just want to talk beyond the inconsequential hello, how are you! About the sunset, about how I was stuck on an old song for weeks now, about the new story I was working on, about the stars, about my favourite pass time of blowing soap bubbles. I just wanted to talk about life. From whatever little I have learnt and understood of life, such conversations are a rare breed. Listeners are more or less extinct now. Only talkers remain in this world. That explains the noise all around, isn’t it?
It’s April. Back in those days, the whole house used to be bathed in the fragrance of the blooming jasmine from the plant so lovingly cared for by my mother. In a blink of an eye I dial her number, disconnecting it midway remembering how it must be midnight there right now. Not wanting to disturb her sleep, I postpone the plan of talking to her till weekend. I ignite some jasmine incense sticks, in a futile attempt to recreate those summer evenings spent playing hopscotch. Little did I know jumping on one leg was a much needed trait for survival later in life! Isn’t that what we are doing as adults too? Jumping on one leg from one thing to another, unsure about when does our turn get over. We want to grab it all before our turn gets over, touching as many things as possible. I miss being able to say ‘Time please’ and excuse myself from the game for sometime.