Diary of a Lost Wanderer

Source: Quotesgram.com Last weekend I had gone grocery shopping. Sounds like the most normal thing to do, isn't it? But well when you have anxiety at it peak for weeks, it is a huge thing to do. On top of it, rains have been incessant for the past few weeks turning me into a homebody. I had began to detest this weather and on Saturday morning when the sun decided to shine through after what seemed like the quarter of a month I decided to go out and get some work done. It took me the longest to manage to reach the supermarket and the crowd there, almost deterred my spirit. However, I kept pushing myself and slowly strolled through the shelves with my headphones on, just to keep my anxiety in check.

Noorie stopped in her tracks while getting dressed up to go out. A crumpled piece of paper from her pocket had brought along an avalanche of memories. Just a normal day, just a normal outing and just her old favourite pair of jeans was now turning into an abnormal day.  A bill dated 26th June from her favourite coffee shop stared back at her as she opened the washed piece of paper and strained her eyes to read more. 26th June, that date got struck in her head. That was the day she had shared her last cup of coffee with him. As they walked out of the café hand in hand, he had met with a terrible accident which didn't injure him physically but he fainted on the road much to her dismay.

In the last few years, my ability to hold conversations has gone down. Initially it scared me, because I am a chatter box ( Or should I now say, WAS a chatter box ). My activity on WhatsApp has gone down to abysmal and so have my phone calls. I hate making or receiving calls. Worse, unexpected phone calls even from people I know give my anxiety. 

“Stories will be told, poems will be written, songs will be sung but there will never be enough love to be felt. We will always keep looking for it in the lyrics of a long forgotten song, those now hazy nicknames, the narrow lanes of nostalgia, the warmth of a much needed hug, that missing yet knowingly comforting smile or just the thought of being alive under the same sky….staring at the same moon. “