Metro Diaries: Love is not enough!



I couldn't take my eyes off her tonight. As we all sat around the camp fire, holding our tea cups tightly half expecting them to warm our insides better than the lit fire I kept staring at her rather awkwardly. Nishigandha or Nishi as she was popularly known as was one of the volunteers in the Citizen's charter I was a part of. Every month we have such meetings where we discuss the progress made in different states and also the plan further. I need to mention here that we are a group of 25 people in the age group of 28-45 who have voluntarily come together to do something for our state with our own money and efforts.  Surprisingly I cannot recollect my first meeting with Nishi, all I remember is her beautiful brown eyes that shine every time she smiles.

Even right now she was smiling, sitting exactly opposite me she was laughing on some joke shared by one of our volunteers. Her smile reached her eyes always and added colour to her cheeks. If you ask me to describe her, she was unlike usual girls. Pixie cut with red streaks, tattooed and with no jewellery she was always dressed in track pants and t shirts. I am yet to see her in something more flattering that that and even then she looked eccentric is what I always felt. 

She suffered from some disease, not the terminal types which effected her life expectancy but yes one that affected the way she led her life. So when we all would be hogging on pizzas and aerated drinks she would be sitting next to us eating her home made salad and juices. Never have I seen her feel bad about it nor have I seen her making a fuss on that too. Maybe one of the reasons why I never felt the need to delve more into it.

There were times when I would dream of holding her into my arms, ruffling her hair and staring at the star studded sky. Nishi was a far cry from the girl of my dreams and yet she made my heart flutter, that was a signal enough for me to know that I liked her. But I never told her, never felt the need to. She was liked by everyone around because of her love for life. Someone had told me once, she battles life everyday in a million different ways and yet loves it with equal madness. That madness shows on her face, in her never dying enthusiasm and the way she spreads it around to us contagiously. 

Just then my eyes fall on him, Rey her boy friend of 5 years as he walks in next to her with her dinner of baked potatoes and macaroni. One look at him and I know why I could never love Nishi and just like her. Because I wasn't strong enough to deal with her. Nishi was so strong that she needed someone equally strong to hold her, and that is where my arms felt weak. I had heard stories about how when her disease was at its peak she would become a female- banshee and Rey stood by her holding her hand firmly. In him I saw a man who let her fly and became the wind beneath her wings.In him I saw that to love someone only a heart is not enough. Sometimes you also need a strong mind and a stronger soul.

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