Metro Diaries - Mirror, mirror on the wall
Reshma splashed water one more time on her face as the train continued chugging to its destination. She stared at her reflection in the mirror fiercely trying to look for some answers. Not contended with the answers she got she turned the tap on to splash some more water on her face.
The more she did this the more soothing her eyes felt. Maybe all the crying and sleepless nights had left behind its remnants in the form of burning heat. Feeling satisfied she turned her gaze one more time at her reflection and smiled at herself. She had to force her lips to pose like a smile but one-two attempts and they got into the habit of smiling. “This is better” she thought to herself when suddenly the blaring engine horn reminded her that she was in a train. She hurriedly went back to her seat and collapsed there with a thud. Wiping her wet face she closed her eyes and let her mind also travel just like this engine.
Not many hours ago Reshma was at a place she called home – her home. A place she has lovingly built with Mahesh. Today they both had completed 2 years of moving in together and 5 years of knowing each other. But somehow that joy was missing from both of their faces.
Two years ago when they had decided to move in together it seemed to be the most rightest thing to do at that moment. Though she knew from the first initial meetings that they both were equally serious about it, she did not want to jump into things and repent later. She wanted to take it slowly. And when they had stood by the test of time for 3 years Mahesh had proposed the idea of moving in together, which she readily accepted.
They both were madly in love with each other. Reshma was the demure princess complete with her dainty looks and porcelain complexion while Mahesh was every bit her knight in shining armour with a physique to die for and matching brains too. It seemed like a match made in heaven. Her cuteness was balanced with his macho personality and his wild side was matched with her cool sexiness.
Things seemed to just get better with their moving in together. She felt like she belonged to him in the real sense as the next obvious move was marriage. So many times they had talked about marriage, families, kids and everything that made her believe it was all for keeps this time. Never did once she ever doubt that sometimes it could be too good to be true!
She was so lost in her own dreamy world of immense possibilities that she did not realize when the first cracks had began to appear in her fairyland. Was it that night when Mahesh had come back late from a guy’s night out badly drunk and had hit her when she had asked him why didn’t he inform her? Or was it that day when she had worn a nice little black dress to a friend’s party which Mahesh felt was a bit too revealing?
She did not know when was it that her dream had started crumbling down like a pack of cards. A gust of wind was all that it took and it could not withstand it! All she knew was things were going from bad to worse. The beatings, the fights, the arguments everything seemed to increase as days passed. Blinded by love Reshma felt Mahesh was right, she being the woman in the relationship she had to sacrifice a few things to ensure the relationship stayed stronger. Reshma kept on giving and giving and giving till it hurt. Her heart bled each night along with her body and mind. But every day morning the smile on Mahesh’s face made it all seem worthwhile to her.Till one day.
Unlike other days today Mahesh seemed to be in a good mood and had asked her to be ready when he returned. They were going out today to celebrate their anniversary. She smiled as she began to get ready. “Finally it was all back to normal. A little bit of sacrifice here and there did not matter if I got so much of love from a person whom I loved a lot.” She felt standing in front of the mirror to admire herself when suddenly the colour drained out from her face. She could not recognize the person in the mirror. It felt as if it was a complete stranger looking back at her. Those dark circles under the eyes, those injury marks on her neck from the last session of Mahesh’s violent outbursts….. she suddenly felt repulsive and moved away from the mirror.
She sat with a thud on the bed when her inner voice started screaming at her “Why are you so surprised? You are the one who kept killing yourself in bits and pieces day in and out. Today there is nothing left that is you in you. You are the culprit and you are the victim. So now when there is a stranger looking back at you.. why are you taken aback?”
This was what triggered Reshma as she began inspecting everything that she did off late and found nothing that she loved, liked or did because she enjoyed. It was all about Mahesh and all that she was reduced to was a mere puppet. This is not love her mind concluded as her heard nodded a heart which resonated within her entire being.
Not wasting a single moment she packed her bags and left not only Mahesh and that house but also that city.
The rustling winds playing with her hair brought her back from her memories. She smiled once again as she remembered the face she had just seen in the mirror a few moments back. That was undoubtedly her. Though the spark in the eyes was a bit weak and the smile not as charismatic as it used to be, but it was there and that’s what mattered. She had finally managed to kill that devil in her which was over taking her senses and let the angel rule!