Metro Diaries - Mirror, mirror on the wall
Reshma
splashed water one more time on her face as the train continued chugging to its
destination. She stared at her reflection in the mirror fiercely trying to look
for some answers. Not contended with the answers she got she turned the tap on
to splash some more water on her face.
The more she
did this the more soothing her eyes felt. Maybe all the crying and sleepless
nights had left behind its remnants in the form of burning heat. Feeling
satisfied she turned her gaze one more time at her reflection and smiled at
herself. She had to force her lips to pose like a smile but one-two attempts
and they got into the habit of smiling. “This is better” she thought to herself
when suddenly the blaring engine horn reminded her that she was in a train. She
hurriedly went back to her seat and collapsed there with a thud. Wiping her wet
face she closed her eyes and let her mind also travel just like this engine.
*-*-*-*-*
Not many
hours ago Reshma was at a place she called home – her home. A place she has
lovingly built with Mahesh. Today they
both had completed 2 years of moving in together and 5 years of knowing each
other. But somehow that joy was missing from both of their faces.
Two years ago when
they had decided to move in together it seemed to be the most rightest thing to
do at that moment. Though she knew from the first initial meetings that they
both were equally serious about it, she did not want to jump into things and
repent later. She wanted to take it slowly. And when they had stood by the test
of time for 3 years Mahesh had proposed the idea of moving in together, which
she readily accepted.
They both
were madly in love with each other. Reshma was the demure princess complete
with her dainty looks and porcelain complexion while Mahesh was every bit her
knight in shining armour with a physique to die for and matching brains too. It
seemed like a match made in heaven. Her cuteness was balanced with his macho
personality and his wild side was matched with her cool sexiness.
Things
seemed to just get better with their moving in together. She felt like she
belonged to him in the real sense as the next obvious move was marriage. So
many times they had talked about marriage, families, kids and everything that
made her believe it was all for keeps this time. Never did once she ever doubt
that sometimes it could be too good to be true!
She was so
lost in her own dreamy world of immense possibilities that she did not realize
when the first cracks had began to appear in her fairyland. Was it that night
when Mahesh had come back late from a
guy’s night out badly drunk and had hit her when she had asked him why didn’t
he inform her? Or was it that day when she had worn a nice little black dress
to a friend’s party which Mahesh felt was a bit too revealing?
She did not
know when was it that her dream had started crumbling down like a pack of
cards. A gust of wind was all that it took and it could not withstand it! All she knew was things were going from bad
to worse. The beatings, the fights, the arguments everything seemed to increase
as days passed. Blinded by love Reshma felt Mahesh was right, she being the
woman in the relationship she had to sacrifice a few things to ensure the
relationship stayed stronger. Reshma kept on giving and giving and giving till
it hurt. Her heart bled each night along with her body and mind. But every day morning the smile on Mahesh’s
face made it all seem worthwhile to her.Till one day.
Unlike other
days today Mahesh seemed to be in a good mood and had asked her to be ready
when he returned. They were going out today to celebrate their anniversary. She
smiled as she began to get ready. “Finally it was all back to normal. A little
bit of sacrifice here and there did not matter if I got so much of love from
a person whom I loved a lot.” She felt standing in front of the mirror to
admire herself when suddenly the colour drained out from her face. She could
not recognize the person in the mirror. It felt as if it was a complete
stranger looking back at her. Those dark circles under the eyes, those injury
marks on her neck from the last session of Mahesh’s violent outbursts….. she
suddenly felt repulsive and moved away from the mirror.
She sat with
a thud on the bed when her inner voice started screaming at her “Why are you so
surprised? You are the one who kept killing yourself in bits and pieces day in
and out. Today there is nothing left that is you in you. You are the culprit and you are the victim.
So now when there is a stranger looking back at you.. why are you taken
aback?”
This was
what triggered Reshma as she began inspecting everything that she did off late
and found nothing that she loved, liked or did because she enjoyed. It was all
about Mahesh and all that she was reduced to was a mere puppet. This is not
love her mind concluded as her heard nodded a heart which resonated within her
entire being.
Not wasting
a single moment she packed her bags and left not only Mahesh and that house but
also that city.
*-*-*
The rustling
winds playing with her hair brought her back from her memories. She smiled once
again as she remembered the face she had just seen in the mirror a few moments
back. That was undoubtedly her. Though the spark in the eyes was a bit weak and
the smile not as charismatic as it used to be, but it was there and that’s what
mattered. She had finally managed to
kill that devil in her which was over taking her senses and let the angel
rule!
