Metro Diaries: To love and be loved
Today he left my hand, perhaps the only hand in life that would have never left his. Sitting on the same bench since all these years, sharing more than just homework and Tiffin boxes I had began to believe it is love. I was smitten by him. NO. I was infected by a disease called Him and ironically he was my only cure.
I didn’t remember when and how I fell in love with him, all I knew was I was madly in love with him– the way his beautiful eyes shone through his turtle shell spectacles, his charismatic smile and that melting voice which felt like chocolate stuffed with caramel... Oh I could go on and on about what I loved for ages and yet not be done.
I still blushed when I thought about our first meeting. First day at school, we both were new joinees at the secondary section and weirdly late entrants too. The teacher had made us sit on the same bench as she didn’t want to disturb the other students’ studies. She asked us to help each other and cope up with it.
Within weeks we were chatting away like old buddies. Somehow it never mattered that he was a boy, especially when it came to talking my heart out. For me he was always my friend, my best friend. We both could speak nineteen to dozen for hours together and still have tons left to talk. Five years of togetherness and I still did not know which moment was it that it became more than friendship for me. Was it when people started talking about us as a couple? Or maybe that day when he had picked up his first fight because that guy spoke something about me? It must have been that night when we chatted till wee hours on God only knows what and were still sleepless to talk more.
I never told him what I felt for he always understood it all and that is where perhaps I was wrong. The mischievous twinkle I used to see in his eyes every time we met and thought it to be love was actually nothing but the joy on meeting a friend. How I wish I could decipher all that happened in the last 6 years once again!
When I saw him walk away I smiled. For I didn’t cry as I had promised him I won’t. Not a single tear rolled out of my eye as I saw him leave…. Forever! But when I think of it I feel I should have cried and let it all go at that moment for now it all seems weird crying for something which is no longer there. It feels as if I am shedding tears on a dead corpse long after its death.
The only solace is he walked away for love and I let him go for love too!