A Thing Called Forever

Today I was in your city. After all these years of fighting an internal battle I finally came there. I kept looking for you the moment I stepped in. Those dusty by lanes, crowded markets, tall rising buildings touching the sky, never ending lines of traffic, honking music all around - I just wanted one glimpse of those familiar looking eyes, those very eyes that had shown me so many beautiful dreams. As the day started I was very confident that by evening I will find you somewhere sitting quietly in a corner with your blue diary and a pen in hand waiting to conjure magic through your words. Every step I took was anticipation mixed with anxiety. The sun set today evening taking along a lot of my hopes. I could not find you. 

Source: Google Images

You were lost just the way you had told me you will be; never to be found again. I felt a sense of emptiness within me as if a part of me was lost once again... and the gnawing pain within which had reduced in the past few days became as good as new. Time did not play the healer it had promised to play. But then promises are meant to be broken aren't they. The way you broke yours and I broke mine. You went away never to return and I died never to live again. 

The twinkling stars began to peep out lighting up the dark way I was taking to go back when a cool gust of wind blew past by and I suddenly felt your fragrance. When that breeze ruffled my hair I felt it was you touching me the way you do. Every breath I took I felt you there. When I spread my arms I felt hugged and the serenity that engulfed me was metaphorical. 

Perhaps this is what I was looking for all this while! I returned back home not knowing that a piece of my heart was left behind never to be called mine now. Once inside the safe confines of my room I could not hold it any longer. The dam broke finally. I was holding it too tightly perhaps till now as the moment it broke everything around got flooded. I cried like a child. I cried with everything that I had within me. It felt as if every fiber of my being was shedding tears. I cried for the love we had or so I thought. 

I cried for what was and what could have been. I cried for what is and what could not be. I cried for a corpse that was long dead. I cried for a heart that did not remember being whole. I cried for that part of me which would never be the same again. I cried for the hollow feeling inside which would never be filled again. I cried for you. I cried for me. I cried for us. And with this today I bury that part in me which held you till now. 

P.S: This post has been published at Writer's Ezine's November  2014

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