Meraki ~ 5

 
 
Creative Khopcha
2:25 am 
Dear Ma,
 
 ~Ransacked the past today to steal some memories.~
 
I came across a cash filled envelope you and Papa had gifted me 8 years back. It is still intact, in its original form with notes of varied denominations peeping from within, it still looks new. I don't know how much money it holds. Not a single crumple or a tear on it, expected you would say. It is untouched, unopened like all the other envelopes you have given me on various occasions ranging from my birthday to festivities. 
I somehow never felt the need to open them, count the money or use it. There was no excitement about receiving it either. It was always a part of the ritual just like touching your feet was to seek your blessings. You just do it without any questions or explanations. I would always take that envelope and religiously deposit it into the huge box I keep in the lower shelf of my cupboard. 

I run my fingers on Papa's handwriting on the cover "May heavens shower the choicest blessing on the birthday girl." It was always Papa who made these, decided the amounts in the beginning of the month itself along with other household monthly expenses, made the cover, sealed it after writing both your names on it just below this wish to be presented at the right time. 
 
The amount might have changed in the years and so would have the colour of the envelopes, apart from that rest everything always remained the same. I keep running my hands on the text - thick, bold and in capitals written with a red sketch pen. No curves or slants, straight writing just like Dad has always been - upright & straightforward. 

My mind is already transported to that time when wounds were healed with a kiss and a hug and the worst punishment in life was not being given dessert that night. When all of a sudden I break down. Within seconds am howling like a child whose favourite toy has broken. And before I know my heart screams, "No choicest blessings came my way. Was it because I didn't open these envelopes?"

In pain,
Yours N


Comments

  1. Oh, this broke my heart as I read. Such sad memories exquisitely expressed. Blessings, Privy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hugs Martha, painful as they might seem they somewhere help me heal. Once it is out in words it is like it is out of my system and that is soothing to the otherwise heart in pain.

      Delete
  2. Beautifully expressed as always. It so often happens that we jump to such conclusions that further rips our heart. Hugs <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes dear very true. Hugs back to you <3

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