The mystery called Marriage

For me marriage has always been mystery waiting to unfold. The more I try to unveil it the more it seems to shy away from me.

For a girl it all starts since the day she is born. She is brought up with one gnawing fact to be accepted – Her marriage. Her every act is somehow connected to her marriage. Look beautiful. Study well. Be good at household things. All this and more only for a nice groom.

And then she is put up for display once she attains the marriageable age. Near and dear ones are told about her exceptional cooking skills, her loving and caring nature and not to forget her exemplary educational abilities. Not for once does anyone thing that she might not be all this but has been made like this just to ensure that she is married at the right time to the right person.

Its sounds so hilarious – you can’t laugh out aloud, you can’t display your opinion on any matter, and you can’t sleep till late on Sundays after slogging for the entire week both at home and at office. Some wacky list of Do’s and Don’ts which make me cringe at just the thought of it. And people think it’s difficult to know a woman. How can you know someone who herself doesn’t know what she wants and what she doesn’t?

Imagine a prospective groom being told, “Oh she is very good at dancing. That’s her passion. But she has never handled cooking or any other household activity.” What would be that groom’s reaction? A big fat NO.

What is going on in that girl’s mind? If dancing was so bad; why was I never stopped from pursuing it. I have been doing it since last 17 years and today suddenly for some Mr. XYZ I have to let go of my dream which I have cherished since so long.

I have also witnessed discussions where girls have been told that they should not be short tempered, rude or aggressive in their behaviour. I fail to understand don’t these people know of something called genetics. The mixing of X and Y chromosome leads to a child birth. If X chromosome has a, b, c qualities it’s obvious there are chances that the child will inherit them in genes, the same applies for Y chromosome also. So, if a short tempered father and an outspoken mother have a child, there is huge possibility that the child could be both short tempered and outspoken or any one of it. Does it mean the child is bad? No it means that you reap what you sow!!!! How could your child be all that you are not?

Rather than cursing her flaws why not appreciate her abilities and have trust on your upbringing. Trust that all the values that have been imbibed would definitely make her a good human being above everything else. [With or without cooking…….!] And at the end of the day that is the only thing that matters……

The other thing which also remains a mystery is that how come people expect perfect partners while they themselves are imperfect. I think they must be seeing the world through their rose tinted glasses where everything is just rosy pink and perfect. I think it’s high time they are given a rude wake up call asking them to face the real world where we all have our own share of imperfections and that’s what makes us different. If we all would be perfect we would be just boring duplicates of each other.

The day I manage to get answers for these questions maybe the mystery will be resolved. Till then, here I am hopeful of things revealing itself to me soon…


  1. This mystery will remain unsolved forever.
    Appreciate the knowledge of genetics you have.X and Y chromosome seems more realistic and logical ;). And it puts really reader to scratch his head hard.
    Perfection and imperfection mixture only bring nice adaptation to the environment.

    1. Oh... no doubts you would agree to this... science though not my favourite subject helps a lot in arguments and I being the Argumentative Indian myself love it :)

  2. i thought about 5 minutes after going through he post...and i could only speak of the things which make me think about the post...As you sow so shall you reap...

    how can people expect to grow mangoes on babul trees?

    Is dancing such a taboo...than one mustn't be asked to take up this during her earlier years...when she cannot carry it in future...

    i don't know much of the cooking part...but as i see myself most of my friends,or even colleagues (female) and i am a better cook than any of them...though i am strictly vegetarian...i can cook almost anything which is vegetarian off course....

    people need to change their prospective the way they see things specially parents...because young generation are certainly not like that of 50's and i have known and seen many females....who are short tempered,out spoken and have no interest in any house hold activities and would rather spend their time in pursing their hobbies or career...!!!

    1. Very rightly said Anjan. People seriously need to change their perspectives and set the expectations right from day one rather than leading to all this many years later!

  3. Privy, nobody had been able to decode the mystery called marriage.Marriage is supposed to be the union of two souls but one party in the union i.e. lady remains a mystery. very sad.


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