Relationships & Impair ~ This Week

SALT ~ This week ~ Relationships

We play a lot of roles in day to day life. I am a sister, daughter, friend, aunt, grand-daughter, niece and many other such roles which come with varied relationships. I always used to believe these relationships define me. They make me all that I am when I am part of them. I am called a sister because of the sisterhood I share with my siblings, am a lover for the love I share with my loved ones. Until very recently something happened which changed the way I look at relationships in my life.

I have one person in my life; let’s call her Ms. X with whom I share a cordial relationship since past 3-4 years.  Off late that person has developed a strong sense of resentment towards me for reasons better known to her. I tried a lot to win over her with my love but her hatred just continued to get stronger with every passing day. Still I continued clinging on to it with all that I had for I wanted to make it work for various reasons.

Couple of weeks ago she hurt me very badly with her words and yes I spent sleepless nights crying over it. That is when one thought struck my mind. I was clinging onto a relationship which perhaps did not exist also. I never realized that from her end perhaps it was long over while I was trying hard to hold onto it leading to all this pain. While she, was sleeping peacefully. Completely unaware about the trauma she was causing to my mind.

That is when I realized that a single me cannot make or define a relationship. Until and unless she put her efforts as well, this relationship could not be going anywhere rather for that matter it cannot be called a relationship. I realized I was making futile attempts on something which was beyond my comprehension and it was causing me a lot of discomfort.  And that is the day when I let it go, knowing very well that there was little that I could do in this regard. For a change I slept peacefully that night.

Lesson Learnt:  Never cling onto relationships for they don’t make you- YOU make them. A you and a me come together to form a WE. Only a YOU or only a ME can never define a relationship.

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PEPPER ~ This week ~ Impair

I am sure each one of us has met with accidents in life and got wounded. Imagine if you keep getting hurt on the same place again and again, will the wound ever heal? It might, but it will take a long time and it will leave a bad scar too. There are chances it might get infected badly too.

That is exactly what happens with emotional wounds too.  We get hurt in life and before that hurt is healed completely we have plunged into something new altogether getting more hurt on the same place – our heart. We need to give time, to ourselves, to our heart and most importantly to that wound for it to heal. By entering into another accident we are ensuring that wound never heals and it just deepens further.

Every time I experience hurt I mourn it for weeks and sometimes months. People find it ridiculous but I know once I am done with the healing it never comes back to haunt me. Mourning helps me give time to the wounds to heal hence ensuring that I am not hurt again and again in the same manner,

Also once a relationship is over, we forget to take the right to hurt us back from that person because of which it still continues to hurt us.  This thing I realized after having gone through a series of hurt which ensured that I was in constant pain as I existed in a mode of denial. I refused to accept it’s over, I refused to acknowledge that things are not what they used to be and hence I should also just move on like the other person.

Last couple of months taught me this thing time and again in such a manner that now it is deeply etched in my mind.

Lesson Learnt: Some people come into our lives to teach us something, when we are unable to learn the lesson they sometimes have to take harsh actions just to ensure we learn.