Metro Diaries: Sinew




Time stood still as he held my gaze. The tenderness in his eyes defined understanding so aptly. My best friend of more than a decade, Rey as I called him was more than ecstatic. We were meeting after three months and that surely called for a celebration. 

 As we caught up on our lives the topic invariably moved to relationships, something we hated discussing. I knew he loved me, since the time I could remember. And he knew I didn’t. We both didn’t lose out on a chance in trying to push the other to newer possibilities in terms of partners. 

Rey was a gem of a person. Understanding, caring and dependable, he was everything a girl could ask for and still I couldn’t imagine loving him more than a friend for I felt he deserved someone better. Coming from a dysfunctional family it was impossible for me to see myself worthy of anything. Years of abuse had made me see a reflection which was rid with scars every day in the mirror. I had spent the last three years in a rehab trying to work on myself. I always kept telling him this,” A complete and an incomplete cannot make a complete relationship. You need someone as complete as you to compliment you. I don’t have any love left in me to give.” 

He would just smile and reply, “I never asked you anything…. Not even love!” 

Right now he had just told me about Sanjana a common friend who had recently proposed Rey. A head turner in our college she was still a stunner when it came to looks. To my utter disappointment Rey added “I refused her proposal.”

 “What? You are mad Rey. She is so beautiful… why did you have to say no!” 

“So are you… so?” 

“Rey you are not only mad you are blind too. You just see the beautiful face I have but you cannot see the uncountable scars my heart and soul carry, the ugliness of my life is hidden beneath this mask of beauty.” I managed to whisper and tried to avert his gaze when he held my hand. 

As I looked at him with a questioning glance he replied, “Love isn’t all about the beauty that is visible. Love is about loving the scars and the pain that comes along too. I love you with your scars, pain and fears because that shows how fragile you are, how real and yet how special. If there is anything they define then it has to be your strength. Those scars silently tell your story of triumph and for me you are a winner who is complete in every sense,” Before I could say anything he added,” You always asked me that you have nothing to give to this relationship. Today I tell you what you can give – strength for that is what I lack. Every time I look into your eyes I gather some more strength to live this life and I want to do that for the rest of my life.” 

For the first time since our friendship I was speechless and just kept looking into his eyes. He just reminded me today I was complete in every sense.

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