Diary of a Lost Wanderer: F5 (Refresh) Life



~ To you ~
An irreversible past of my life 

If there is something that I could tell to every dreamer in this world then it would be this – Dream with caution for the whole world is full of dream breakers. They don’t hate you because you dream. They hate you because they cannot. 

After all that was and is between us I don’t have anything to say to you or so I believe. But then in the warm silences of night my heart cries as my soul bleeds to sleep. Nothing can give me solace at such moments. Every time I think about the time I spent with you I curse myself.

The signs were there, always since the very beginning. I was so blinded with hope that I could not see a single sign of warning. And today I have nothing but damaged hope in my hands to embrace. Being hopeful is good but being eternally hopeful is detrimental. 

Amidst the fuchsia coloured dreams of beautiful tomorrows that I saw with you I conveniently ignored the slight shimmer of lightening peeping now and then. Neither could I see the grey clouds of impending doom nor smell the calamity about to strike in the air. Maybe this is the blindness people tend to associate with love. 

It all happened in a fraction of a second, well that’s how it felt like. Cannot believe I put up with it all for 4 years…. Four glorious years of my life wasted or rather damaged beyond repair to an extent that perhaps my body will never be the same again though I will ensure my heart and soul stitched along . 

Today I have nothing good to look back to and smile. Even the slightest of thought of those days in hell leaves me in shivers and tears. I cradle my heart and lull it to sleep at night promising it daily to never let it happen again. I don’t know what future has in store for me but I am sure I won’t let this get repeated. I never deserved this and I still don’t. 

Today as I look back I can see shattered dreams, broken trust, wrecked hope and demented desires. I still choose to hold onto all that is left of me tightly and stride ahead. For you and yours are just not worth any of it. You ruined my past and tarnished my present but no way am I going to give you my future to play around with. 

~ From  ~
A could have been promising part of your future

P.S: This post is dedicated to all the women who have been through in abusive relationships where they have been made to feel like a culprit though they have been the victims and yet they showed the strength to walk out of them to live a life they always deserved.

Comments

  1. Although I am not a regular reader but whenever I go through your posts, every word makes a deep, lasting impression on my heart and soul. They touch you, stir you and challenge you and your beliefs in a strange way.

    "Being hopeful is good but being eternally hopeful is detrimental." .Simply amazing!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coming from you Mam it means a lot.... I just write whatever comes to my heart and sometimes they are not even read once again before posting. This blog is more like my own personal space where I let the mind just wander around and try to capture those thoughts in words.

      Thank you so much for these words!

      Delete
  2. Your words are exquisitely powerful here, Privy. I felt as though this woman was in the room with me telling me her story. Wow!
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad I could do this Martha, thank you so much!

      Delete
  3. As usual fantastic, namrata.Well-framed.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Rudraprayaga - thank you so much dear!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

~ Every word that you leave behind is an imprint on my soul ~

Popular posts from this blog

Sending my love