Diary of a lost wanderer: Love as it is

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Dear Diary, 

Today was Hari’s birthday. The cake was a chocolate truffle, my favourite but in the shape of a car something that he loved the most. He got a cycle as a gift from his parents. After the cake cutting he rode his cycle in the lawns with his dad holding onto the cycle tightly, running after him just to ensure he didn’t fall. 

I kept thinking about my last birthday and the huge party hosted for the occasion in a hotel. I was dressed like Cinderella and the theme was prince and princess. Even the cake was in the shape of a huge Disney Princess. All my friends looked lovely in their attires. With Mary by my side I was having a blast when my birthday gift arrived. It was a huge doll house complete with its own balcony and windows along with a beautiful doll and its trousseau. I became the instant favourite amongst all girls for they simply wanted to touch my gifts once. I was their envy now. 

I was far from being ecstatic. My eyes kept looking for my dad, the sender of the gift. I was told he was busy in a meeting in a different city and hence couldn’t come. But he had sent these gifts for me. Something in my heart said that was a lie and I came to know that when he called just as I was about to cut the cake. I thanked him for the gifts and added that the doll’s dress is just beautiful. He instantly asked,” Which doll?” and then realizing his folly immediately corrected himself, “ Oh the one I sent.. ya. I knew you would like it. “I don’t know if that was genuine or my imagination that something was amiss. 

Hari calling out to me brought me back to his party. As I was his best friend he wanted me to ride his bicycle too. I was joyous. He kept cheering for me as I took rounds of the lawn with his dad holding onto the cycle tightly. I felt so happy that at the end of the ride I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t know why. Hari thought I got scared. He said,” Don’t worry! Dad won’t let anything happen to you. If he is there, everything is alright.” I just smiled. 

Tonight as I lay in the bed trying to fall asleep I think of Hari and smile again. Is what I feel for him the love that those girls in my class talk about? If it is, is it wrong? Need to ask Mary tomorrow. 

Scared, 

Myra.

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