Negate & Respect ~ This week

SALT ~ This week ~Negate

Couple of years ago when I was working in a different job than my current one, there came a time when I simply could not continue working there anymore. There were various reasons for it. The most biggest one being not being credited for my work. I agree this happens to each one of us working in the corporate world. But in this case it went a bit ahead with loads of projects done by me not having my name at all, being submitted in someone Else's name and that person being promoted based on that to make a hefty bonus that year. I would only receive the brickbats if any for scope of improvement there only to be forgotten once again. 

She would use very derogatory words for Me only for one reason because I did not believe in answering back or arguing. She called me a pup, who could just whine and whimper but not bark or bite. Initially I did not pay much heed and continued working with full dedication. I am sure you would agree someday your brain just simply stops you and asks you why are you doing this and for long will you continue like this.It was one such day for Me when I went back home and cried a lot. My only complain was don't give Me credit for my work but atleast treat Me with respect, I think I deserve that much. It hurts to even remember the words she used. It affected my work as I was not able to give the desired results.

My grandfather came to my room and sat with me while I continued crying about how ruthless my boss was and how it was leading to nowhere. I even showed him my projects and asked him that how can she give the credit to someone else when the only thing that person added to this was a arrow. Worst of all she calls me a pup. 

He heard Me out patiently and then started talking,' What any one can take from you- she has already taken. Your work, What no one can take away from you is still there with you - your talent. Any hard work done with complete dedication never goes unpaid. If not now, somewhere someone will realize its worth.That does not mean you stop giving your 100% efforts. You should do that as it is your job. Remember it is like a game, when you are in it play with all the rules and regulations. Never cry foul. Learn the tricks on the trade to win it. The day you feel you have had enough quit the game. Cribbing like this because someone is playing better than you is simply not fair. Your work will take your boss or anyone else places but not for long. But your own work will forever take you a long way. For your survival in this game depends solely on you whilst for such people it depends on people like you. And there are many chances of you landing up with such people again and again in life, but it a rare chance of them getting a free donkey like you every time. Don't waste your tears on such people. Rather use this to sharpen your skills, give your best and leave with your head held high. Just like your work, your absence will speak for itself.'

I was surprised as I heard this and asked , 'How do you think is all this possible?' He smiled and said, 'Negate. Nullify. You have heard the saying 'Iron sharpens iron' in the same way for every bad attitude , good attitude negates it. She does all this because she knows you get upset and she will continue doing this. Show her it does not affect you at all. Smile every time something happens and move on. Remember she is not the final authority on this earth to pass a judgement on you. Nobody except you knows what your true potential is and nobody else has the right to judge you.'

I don't know why my heart just wanted to believe him and think that everything will be fine. I decided to implement his words. I choose to negate her behaviour over my work.It was difficult in the beginning but a conscious effort slowly took me there. Needless to say,it worked. I was able to work under her, give some excellent results and stay unaffected by her behaviour. Luckily I got a better job and decided to move to my current one and on the last day she finally confessed how important team member I was. Surprisingly enough that day even that compliment did not affect Me as I just said thank you and left from there. That day I realized I had finally succeeded completely in negating all the unwanted things coming my way.
Lesson Learnt : Life has a way of throwing things at you - both good & bad. Its up to you to make the most of the good and negate the bad.

PEPPER ~ This week ~ Respect

As a part of my job I am required to meet clients at their office or residence for work. Couple of days back I had gone on one such visit. Now this client, let’s call her Mrs. X, is a rich HNI’s wife. Husband has got a flourishing business and she takes care of the finance part of it. Stylish, suave, impeccably dressed always and carries herself very well. I hold her in very high regards because of her knowledge and courtesy.

That day when we reached her house at the scheduled time she was not there. We realised she had sent a text message stating she was stuck in traffic and asked us to wait there till such time she reached. We rang the bell expecting the servant to answer it as always. But when for a long time it went unanswered we thought nobody’s at home and were just about to leave when the door knob turned slowly. The door opened to reveal a very elderly lady aged around 85 years standing there.

She looked through her thick spectacles at us and asked ’Whom do you want?’ We told her we were waiting for Mrs. X and she had asked us to wait as she was on the way. She smiled very sweetly and guided us inside towards the living room. She sat with us and started talking to us. Slowly amidst the conversation we gathered she was ill treated at her house. She had been asked not to speak to anyone and not venture out of her room. Loneliness was biting her, but just to maintain peace in the house she adhered to everything she was told. The icing was when she smiled and said ‘It’s been 30 years to my husband’s death and I have been living like this. I am habituated to this now… I think I should be thankful they have at least given me a roof on my head and food to eat unlike some other people who just throw old parents out of their house.’

The honking of a car on the gate made us realize Mrs. X was back. The way that old lady was rushing to her room, is something I can never forget. I could see the fear in her eyes as she tried to make her feeble legs run quickly. Luckily she was saved as she reached her room before Mrs. X entered the house. I don’t remember what we discussed in the meeting after that as I was sitting there in a daze. I was numb and my eyes clouded with tears. I faintly remember her telling us that she got late as one of her friends was in deep trouble and she had to be by her side today. 

I fail to understand how can someone do this to anyone? And specially that too with one’s own parents!! She had time, empathy and concerns for a friend but not for her own mother-in-law who perhaps needed her at this age the most. What is the use of all these riches, knowledge, so-called high society status and manners when the harsh reality is this? The only thing that elderly lady needed was time, love, care and respect. Sadly no money on this earth can buy this!That day I stuck off Mrs. X from the list of rich people mentally as for  me she is extremely poor. She does not have anything to give to anyone. I cannot respect a person who has no respect for others.

Lesson Learnt : Becoming rich and having lot of qualifications need not make you a human. A human being who cannot care for another fellow human being and be compassionate enough to respect them is a blot on humanity.


P.S: Writing these Salt & Pepper series has helped Me look deeper into myself and week after week I seem to find something new. If you have any interesting Salt and Pepper moments you would want to share, please feel free to use the picture above and post them on your blog. Do leave your links here in the comments to read.

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