Inspired Inscribes - 35
Having been born and brought up in a country where my credentials spoke more than myself I had resigned myself to my fate. By the time I was a teen I had a huge list of do's and don'ts like what to wear, how to laugh, how to talk, whom to talk, when to talk, whom to meet etc. That list more of less was something that I had grown up with and hence it didn't pinch me much accepting it.
But the shock came when I became an adult or rather to put it more clearly someone of marriageable age. And then suddenly all faults came tumbling out of the cupboard like some ghosts from the past. I was fat, dark, not an engineer, tall and above all someone who came across as too dominating. Worst, my stars in the horoscope were doomed. There began my journey where I was made to lose weight, apply everything from a fairness creams to any random home remedy of the world to become fair and try to fast as much as possible to please the mighty Gods somewhere above so that my stars could come back to normalcy. Surprised as you might me, I did that. Without a second thought because I had began to believe them. Blame it on my conditioning but I used to curse myself for not having enough interest in science or taken up engineering and preferring to study commerce followed by Finance.
There was peace till I did all this for almost 5-7 years without any questions but also without any results. I reached a stage where I had completely lost it now. My patience was wearing out and soon there was a day when I put my foot down refusing to comply any further. If I was fat, so were you all... there is something known as genetics. And if I am fair, well what else were you expecting when neither of you are! On top of to blame me for something I wasn't even remotely responsible i.e. my stars is stupidity and I will not play along any further. I have had enough of pleasing you all till now, no more.
Yes it did get a lot of flak but I was done for sure. This increased the whispers and talks behind my back but I had kind of developed a thick skin by now. I had almost written off people till my recent holiday abroad where I saw a different world altogether. I saw how they are so comfortable with who they are be it their size, looks or education. And the best thing they accepted you the way you are without trying to look beyond what you show them. They trust you enough knowing that if it is important you will show them that side as well.
The world, inspired me to dream, live, accept myself, love myself for all that I am and just be for the world needs me and not another me. I refuse now to be defined by their views on me as I am now creating a new definition for myself.