Inspired Inscribes - 35

By

Having been born and brought up in a country where my credentials spoke more than myself I had resigned myself to my fate. By the time I was a teen I had a huge list of do's and don'ts like what to wear, how to laugh, how to talk, whom to talk, when to talk, whom to meet etc. That list more of less was something that I had grown up with and hence it didn't pinch me much accepting it. 

But the shock came when I became an adult or rather to put it more clearly someone of marriageable age. And then suddenly all faults came tumbling out of the cupboard like some ghosts from the past. I was fat, dark, not an engineer, tall and above all someone who came across as too dominating. Worst, my stars in the horoscope were doomed. There began my journey where I was made to lose weight, apply everything from a fairness creams to any random home remedy of the world to become fair and try to fast as much as possible to please the mighty Gods somewhere above so that my stars could come back to normalcy. Surprised as you might me, I did that. Without a second thought because I had began to believe them. Blame it on my conditioning but I used to curse myself for not having enough interest in science or taken up engineering and preferring to study commerce followed by Finance.

There was peace till I did all this for almost 5-7 years without any questions but also without any results. I reached a stage where I had completely lost it now. My patience was wearing out and soon there was a day when I put my foot down refusing to comply any further. If I was fat, so were you all... there is something known as genetics. And if I am fair, well what else were you expecting when neither of you are! On top of to blame me for something I wasn't even remotely responsible i.e. my stars is stupidity and I will not play along any further. I have had enough of pleasing you all till now, no more.

Source: imagequotes.tumblr.com
Yes it did get a lot of flak but I was done for sure. This increased the whispers and talks behind my back but I had kind of developed a thick skin by now. I had almost written off people till my recent holiday abroad where I saw a different world altogether. I saw how they are so comfortable with who they are be it their size, looks or education. And the best thing they accepted you the way you are without trying to look beyond what you show them. They trust you enough knowing that if it is important you will show them that side as well.

The world, inspired me to dream, live, accept myself, love myself for all that I am and just be for the world needs me and not another me. I refuse now to be defined by their views on me as I am now creating a new definition for myself. 

Source: http://www.your-self-improvement-guidebook.com

Popular posts from this blog

Diary of a Lost Wanderer - Lost & Found

By
Image
Dear Diary, I fell in love with Mumbai when I first visited it in 1995. Bombay, as it was then known, fascinated me since then.  If you ask me what made me fall in love with this city, I perhaps cannot explain. It wasn't that I was seeing the sea for the first time. It wasn't even the biggest city I had been to till then. Still, there was something so magical about this place. The trip was a short one lasting less than a week but this city now had my heart. Years later, I arrived here all alone on my first solo trip in 2005 and fell in love all over again. I got my first job and was required to come to Mumbai frequently. The local trains, the chaos on the roads, the crowds, the humdrum, the salty smell in the air, the stale air- everything about this city was intoxicating for me. 
Keep reading »

Essay: How to mourn the loss of love?

By
Image
Image Source: Unsplash.com I remember the first time I mourned the loss of love was when I was eleven.  For me, dance was love at that time. I had discovered a strange joy as I glided in and out of those movements. Every time I swirled; I could feel my heart soar. Any beat that strained to reach my ears, tempted me to move my body to its tune. I just knew I was born to dance and that is the only thing I wanted to do, all my life.  I had my reasons to believe so and a very simple one at that. It made me happy. That was a reason enough. However, my father thought otherwise. Girls from good families, do not dance. That line was enough to break all those rosy dreams of dancing on a stage. The day my brother was sent to the same dance class which was not good for me, was the day I experienced heartbreak for the first time.  That is the day I mourned the loss of my first love- Dance. 
Keep reading »

Metro Diaries: The Art of Making Love

By
Image
Image Source: Unpexels (Cottonbro) “Do you know why is it called making love?” He whispered, pulling the comforter closer.  I don’t remember for how long we had been in that room, on that bed. Lying aimlessly, just feeling each other in silence. I managed to just whimper to denote my curiosity.   “Because that is the moment we create love. We are the closest we could ever be to love, in its purest form. It is sheer magic as we are naked, in every form. Mentally, physically and emotionally before that one person, we love. We know they can hurt us, as much as they want to, in the way they want to. But love gives us that power to trust them, that they won’t.”   “And here I was thinking it is a need. Something you want at that moment and you get it!” 
Keep reading »