Inspired Inscribes ~ 36
Few days ago I added another year to my age. Nothing extra ordinary you might say and I will agree. What used to make it extra ordinary was the way it would turn out to be. But this year was different. Many or rather most of my near and dear ones forgot my birthday. I usually am not the one who would complain about it for I believe it is the feelings that matter. There have also been instances when I have called some very special people telling them it’s my birthday today, seeking their blessings.
But somehow this year it stayed with me for a while, till the time when I eventually broke down by evening very badly. Maybe because I was seeking for some acknowledgement this year as I was always told birthdays are occasions that celebrate you. I cried and cried for it hurt to know that some more than a decade old friends had forgotten me completely. Or perhaps, it all boiled down to one reminder on social media where you add your birthdate and it does the wonderful job of reminding all your friends ensuring you at least feel special that day. I somehow detested it, and didn’t do that. This year on my birthday I choose to be with myself, away from friends and family. And the lack of their wishes made it all the more “lonely”.
Angry and upset for a while I then went into my self-introspection mode. What is that hurt me? It took a while to zero in the answer – some people claiming to be my very good friends had not even wished me. So then I recollected owing to my illness last year I had also missed a lot of birthdates, maybe this was their way of getting even with me. Fair, accepted. In today’s world at times this is what works – I scratch your back and you scratch mine. Win-win situation.
Moving on to the next category of very close and special friends – someone whose birthdate didn’t need any reminders for me, so much that even today there are few whom I am no longer in touch with but I remember their birthdays and yes, a special prayer on that day is always done for them. So what could be their reason? Simple, life. Life these days is so hectic for everyone that such minor lapses are very normal and that no way means they don’t care about me.
Sounding convincing at first, later it felt very hollow and empty. I remembered all the past birthdays and cried some more for a while before once again trying to reason it out, when a friend of mine sent me a message on Whatsapp. Chatting with me for a while, ranting and sharing her woes she hung up and then sent me a text – Thanks, it felt so good talking to you!
I smiled as I read that, thinking that without my intentions I made a difference to her life today and without her knowing she did to mine. She taught me that wishes, days and dates don’t define any relationship. It is pure love and respect that does. I was there for her when she needed me the most and that is perhaps more important than anything else. And as long as a relationship had this two, rest all was acceptable. Yes! Even forgotten birthdays ;)
For the simple fact of life remains - Just because something didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be, doesn’t mean it isn’t it!