Diary of a Lost Wanderer: Confused Soul

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Dear Diary, 

Today Miss Mary told us about God. She told us how He loves all of us equally and wants us to be happy. He will never allow anything wrong happen to us. I wonder if He loves us equally then why does He treat some people different than others. 

Isha is my best friend but she cannot come to school with me for her mother works at my house and she cannot afford her fees. While Karan gets to go to Disneyland for summer holidays and I get to be contended only with a drive down to grandma’s house. Not that I am complaining, I love being with Granny. Her house is like a giant treasure hunt for me and the holidays don’t seem enough to explore it. But if we all are kids of God and are loved equally then why this difference. 

I wanted to join a dance class. I love dancing. But Papa refused to allow me. He said I seem to find a new hobby every day and that I cannot be changing classes like this. Well, I never said I like piano. Mamma decided that I should learn and I am learning. Papa felt my painting skills could be worked upon and I have a tutor who comes home every day to teach me different types of strokes. Is it that except me everyone knows what I like? 

Tonight at dinner Papa didn’t eat the broccoli saying he didn’t like it. He asked the cook to make him scrambled eggs and had them for dinner. But when I tried just wrinkling my nose at the same broccoli I was lectured as to how healthy it is for me and that I should just finish it up quickly if I want to grow up fast. Perhaps Papa is already grown up, so he doesn’t need to grow up any more or be healthy. I wish I also grow up soon so that I get to have choices in food. 

Yesterday I asked Mamma to wear a particular dress, which she didn’t like. She got miffed with me, asking me to leave her room and play with my toys. Later I asked Maria, why is Mamma allowed to tell me what to wear, but I cannot tell her what to wear. And that Papa gets to eat what he likes but I don’t. She said, “God made kids to smile and listen to all that elders say. “ 

I am now confused for the God Miss Mary spoke about and the one Maria talks about seem to be different. Maybe they are talking about two different Gods altogether. Or, are there more? 

Confused, 
Myra

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