Affect & Fear ~ This week

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SALT ~ This week ~ Affect

Since last 3 months I have a new person at my office in my team. Now, this person is a unique species. I have nicknamed her ‘The Argumentative Indian’[ based on the book written by Amartya Sen] because she has the habit of arguing for everything and anything. You teach her something, she forgets it. The moment you prompt the argument begins. I said the same thing you misunderstood it…and it goes on and on till I quit it.

I don’t know whether I was wrong in doing this, but yes all this was affecting me very much. My work was getting affected, my creativity had come to a standstill and worst of all I was having horrible mood swings. After a debating session with her everyone around me would come to know I had just spoken to her because of my foul mood. 

She was literally bogging me down emotionally, mentally and physically. Because essentially I am not an argumentative person and arguing too much tires me like hell. It is very taxing trying to tell a person constantly that you are wrong here whilst actually that person is least interested in it. Last week I fell ill due to this sudden change in weather. I had a bout of cold and cough with fever which simply refused to leave me despite all medication. Doctor spelled it out for me to understand it better – S-T-R-E-S-S.

Now this was alarming. I loved my job as I have told you guys also earlier and this new entrant was causing me stress enough for me to leave my job. This was actually ridiculous. Suddenly it struck me. Wait, It’s not her it’s Me. Yes. I let her do all this to me and blame her. Poor thing she does not even know what catastrophe has she been causing all this while. What a powerful personality I wondered. I could not make her what I wanted her to be but she could pass on her negativity to me and cause so much stress!

That night I sat for a long meditation session and flushed her out of my system. All the negative energy that I had gathered in this short span of time I drained it all out and went off to sleep. Next day morning I was feeling very light and now she no longer affects.

We all must have faced it sometime or other where someone seems to create so many disruptions in our life. We blame that person but actually we are to be blamed. We let that person do this and not the other way round. Hence the solution also lies with us for this and not them. 

Lesson Learnt : Never let others negativity rub onto you. Always let your positivity emerge as the winner in this war and choose to stay unaffected by all the noise happening around you.

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 PEPPER ~ This week ~ Fear

An inspiring fellow blogger, Corinne’s post inspired me to think of my fears and analyze the root cause of it. Somehow I believe every action, reaction, habit or fear that we have is a result of something. Something that could have happened in our childhood, or maybe something we read about which made us form an opinion about it.  I let my thoughts wander around and reach the exact place where this fear had its roots.

I have a huge fear of ghosts and throughout my school and college days I was the butt of all jokes because of this. I remember being addressed as a ‘fattu’ during my childhood. The teasing I used to get, always instigated me to watch horror shows. As a result of which I could barely sleep at night. I would cling to my mother all the time and be scared to step in a room without lights.  I remember one particular evening when we all were playing. I must be around 7-8 years old. There were some new constructions happening around our house where we all were playing hide and seek. 

It was my turn to hide and I ran to the farthest corner and hid there. It was a long time and no one came to search for me. I came out from my hiding place to see it was dark suggesting it was time to go home. Fear gripped my heart as I started groping in the dark for the way out. Suddenly I heard weird noises coming from somewhere inside the house and I let out a huge scream. Only to see my friends standing around me laughing their heads off as they had scared my wits. That day everyone laughed on me, no one wanted to see I was shivering with the fear instilled deep down. 

Maybe it was this incident which has left me feeling embarrassed about my fear in telling people about it. Gradually as I grew up I continued watching horror shows and spending sleepless nights in order to prove that I was not a ‘fattu’. Though today I cannot say my fear is gone, I can proudly say I have learnt to train my mind to forget it the moment the television is off and go to sleep peacefully. I use books, meditation techniques, music and many other ways and means to get ghosts out of mind.

I realised it is important to accept your fear and not let your fear accept you completely where you cannot do anything else. The moment you accept your fear you mind is free to think of ways to get rid of it. 

Lesson Learnt :I learnt that each one of us has our own fears. Accepting them is a sign of strength and not cowardice. People who laugh at you could actually be sharing the same fears but not disclosing for the fear of being laughed at.

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