Die & Allow ~ This week
SALT ~ This week ~ Die
This week I was visiting one of my friends for dinner. Mind you she is not the usual friends we make at school ,college or work place. She is a 57 year old lady who stays all by herself and we catch up at times when both of us are looking for some nice company. Sometimes it is over a cup of coffee, that day it was dinner.
While we both were talking we reached the topic of our childhoods and I casually mentioned to her how I felt my childhood had died an early death. I never got to enjoy it to the fullest. Because of many reasons I had to grow up very early in age.
She smiled,' I know everyone thinks so. They feel the moment they are in their teens they are expected to behave in a particular fashion and there goes their childhood flying out of the window. Then they touch 18 and they are all about becoming an adult. All our lives we are so busy trying to play our age for the fear of what will others think that we actually don't enjoy being in the age we are. We are scared of being called immature and childish and hence wave an early good bye to our childhood.'
I replied, ' I agree...it is as if we all are trying so hard to please people around us that we forget we also need to feel pleased ourselves!!!'
She: 'You know when I grew up?'
Me: 'No...when?'
She : ' Just last year when my father passed away..'
I was surprised as she continued, ' Ya...it feels weird but it is the fact.Knowingly unknowingly however much we try to grow up our parents and elders always give us a feeling of being a child somewhere. And I have literally basked in that feeling. Sadly I never realized it till he went away forever. Our elders are the reminders of our rich culture and tradition. With them around we barely take any pains to remember all that we actually should know. We thrust them with the responsibility of taking it forward and educating even our children about it. We make them play the role of a Nimit ( A divine instrument) who helps us develop more spiritually and learn things we did not know about. So far I also believed my childhood had gone long back but last year after his death I realized I was suddenly asked to grow up after all this years. I was now given the job of being the Nimit to the next generations and I was clueless if I will able to do justice to it or not. I am as scared as perhaps a child would be on the thought of facing this big bad world for the first time all by him/herself.'
Me: I never thought this way...being a divine instrument.
She: We all never do. And on the contrary we all are. Nimits. We are all here to convey some message to each one around us. The challenge is to know the message and convey it in time to the right people before it all ends. Sadly we let things within us die so early we never realize the bigger picture that God had in mind when He was creating us. So it is very important for us to live every feeling that we have in our heart as that is a signal somewhere for us. Be it playing a game or dancing to the tunes of your favorite song. Never let your soul die before your body dies as that means you have called it quits much before your time was up.
It was a wonderful dinner that we had later on but this discussion simply refused to leave my mind. I never thought that someday I will be asked to grow up like this and be given the responsibility of taking things forward for the next generation. I was so busy trying to give out a picture of me being a dependable person to others that I had actually forgotten to hear what I truly wanted to do so many times.
This week I was visiting one of my friends for dinner. Mind you she is not the usual friends we make at school ,college or work place. She is a 57 year old lady who stays all by herself and we catch up at times when both of us are looking for some nice company. Sometimes it is over a cup of coffee, that day it was dinner.
While we both were talking we reached the topic of our childhoods and I casually mentioned to her how I felt my childhood had died an early death. I never got to enjoy it to the fullest. Because of many reasons I had to grow up very early in age.
She smiled,' I know everyone thinks so. They feel the moment they are in their teens they are expected to behave in a particular fashion and there goes their childhood flying out of the window. Then they touch 18 and they are all about becoming an adult. All our lives we are so busy trying to play our age for the fear of what will others think that we actually don't enjoy being in the age we are. We are scared of being called immature and childish and hence wave an early good bye to our childhood.'
I replied, ' I agree...it is as if we all are trying so hard to please people around us that we forget we also need to feel pleased ourselves!!!'
She: 'You know when I grew up?'
Me: 'No...when?'
She : ' Just last year when my father passed away..'
I was surprised as she continued, ' Ya...it feels weird but it is the fact.Knowingly unknowingly however much we try to grow up our parents and elders always give us a feeling of being a child somewhere. And I have literally basked in that feeling. Sadly I never realized it till he went away forever. Our elders are the reminders of our rich culture and tradition. With them around we barely take any pains to remember all that we actually should know. We thrust them with the responsibility of taking it forward and educating even our children about it. We make them play the role of a Nimit ( A divine instrument) who helps us develop more spiritually and learn things we did not know about. So far I also believed my childhood had gone long back but last year after his death I realized I was suddenly asked to grow up after all this years. I was now given the job of being the Nimit to the next generations and I was clueless if I will able to do justice to it or not. I am as scared as perhaps a child would be on the thought of facing this big bad world for the first time all by him/herself.'
Me: I never thought this way...being a divine instrument.
She: We all never do. And on the contrary we all are. Nimits. We are all here to convey some message to each one around us. The challenge is to know the message and convey it in time to the right people before it all ends. Sadly we let things within us die so early we never realize the bigger picture that God had in mind when He was creating us. So it is very important for us to live every feeling that we have in our heart as that is a signal somewhere for us. Be it playing a game or dancing to the tunes of your favorite song. Never let your soul die before your body dies as that means you have called it quits much before your time was up.
It was a wonderful dinner that we had later on but this discussion simply refused to leave my mind. I never thought that someday I will be asked to grow up like this and be given the responsibility of taking things forward for the next generation. I was so busy trying to give out a picture of me being a dependable person to others that I had actually forgotten to hear what I truly wanted to do so many times.
Lesson Learnt : Never let your soul die before your body dies as that means you have called it quits much before your time was up. In this race till the time you are here give your best and remember you are the Nimit!
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PEPPER ~ This week ~ Allow
We meet people. We call them friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc. When we decide what they are in our live we let them come closer and give them a glimpse into our lives. In some cases we leave our lives in front of them like a book asking them to read it from starting to end as a way to tell you mean a lot to me. We share innermost secrets which we perhaps would have never shared with anyone so far. As sharing is a way of caring and for us this means we care about that person a lot.But amidst all this we don't realise one fact is that we show our weakness and vulnerability to that person.
You know I have often heard the line ' He/She understands me so well that it is surprising..' More often than not I have witnessed myself that first it was them who had shared their lives in details and now are astounded at the way these people are able to judge them so easily .
One more thing that we do by sharing is we allow them.
We allow them to hurt us.
We allow them to touch us
We allow them to take us for granted
We allow them to make us feel bad / good about ourselves.
We allow them many things like this. It is like giving a weapon in their hand and expecting them not to use it on you. I think that is wrong on our part. I am not against sharing things. I am against at the thought which we have in our minds while doing this ' He/she will not hurt me' .You decided to share and you did. Now it is up to that person to live up to your trust. Along with all these , allow them to choose what they want to do with your trust.
Lesson Learnt : Allowing people around us to love us and care for us also means they are allowed to hurt us.
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