A dreamer's dream

Today's PROMPT

Source: Google Images

If there is one word that I can associate with myself without any qualms then it would be a DREAMER.

 

After my death, 

I would like to be remembered as a dreamer - Someone who dreamt as long as she lived  and died with dreams in her eyes!

 

I have many wish lists where I keep adding all that keeps coming to mind. It could be a dance course, a new book, a song or just writing about something very close to my heart. I believe we all are born dreamers with loads of dreams in our eyes. With passage of time we let it all get lost somewhere within us never bothering to find them again. Despite all those wonderful things in my wish lists, if someone were to ask me my biggest dream it would be it would be to just BE ME.

 

Being born a girl in a society like ours comes along with loads of should be and could be attached. I don't mind being something for the sake of a loved one. For when I am told, "I want you to be like this for I can see you can do it" is very different than being told "I want you to be like this otherwise what will people say!"

 

What would you call it otherwise where even your name is not yours for your whole life! Change is the inevitable truth of life but here the change begins with your own self and ends there too! Nothing else is susceptible to change as much as you are.

 

I have let go of so many dreams for a very simple reason - it belonged to the not approved list as per the society. It started with a dance class, dresses, education courses, change in city, friends, singing classes and went on to gobble up the way I laughed, I sat, ate, talked, thought and finally ended up eating my love too!

 

Sharing my first poem which I wrote when I was a teen, reflects the hurt I must have been going through at the time seeking approval from all places:

 

Samjhota [ Compromise ]- A poem

आज तक हमेशा सिखाया गया  - नारी का दूजा नाम समझोता.

कभी माता पिता की खातिर, या कभी समाज से डरकर, समझोता, समझोता, समझोता. क्या बस यही जिंदगी है?

क्यों बनू मैं समझोते का पुतला? क्यों करू मैं जो मेरा मन न माने? 

क्या यह मेरी गलती है जो मैं पैदा हुई औरत बनकर? या फिर इस बड़े संसार मैं जगह नहीं मेरे सपनो की?

न मांगू चाँद, न मांगू तारे - बस करना चाहू वही जो करो तुम सारे.

सुना है नामुमकिन कुछ भी नहीं; पर मैं तो करना चाहू वोही जो मुमकिन है.

क्या मैं बिना समझोते के छू सकती हु वोह सफलता क आसमान? ? 

Translation:

Till today I have always been taught to accommodate. Sometimes for parents or sometimes for the fear of society. Accommodate, accommodate, accommodate.

Why should I become a puppet depicting accommodation? Why should I do something which my heart does not agree to? Is it my fault I was born as a woman? Or does this big world does not have place for my dreams?

I am not asking for stars or the moon. I just want to do what everyone does. I have heard nothing is impossible, but I just want what is possible.

Can I touch that sky of success without accommodating?

 

And the day I refused to let go of them I became a rebel. So much to pay as a price just for dreaming something that many of them are already doing! Wonder what gives birth to such dual standards. But then maybe it is beyond logic even for them to explain something like this as they themselves don't know what they are doing.

 

Today I refuse to stop dreaming and I refuse to give up on them for I believe if I did not have the capacity to make them come true God would not have given them to me in the first place!

 

Source: Google Images

 

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 8th – 14th December 2013.