Reflections ~ 1

This is my first attempt at writing fiction though it is not completely fiction. Would appreciate your feedback on the same.

'Enough' He screamed. 'I don't want to hear anything more. I beg you....' He continued slapping his hands together 'Please let me live in peace. I have only wanted that always in life.' Saying this he made a hasty exit from the room slamming the door with a thud.

She continued standing there in a daze for a while before collapsing on the floor. Slowly tears started flowing out of her eyes. 'Enough' His words echoed in her ears. This was what their relationship had been reduced to off-late. Petty fights, arguments and allegations had replaced sweet nothing, romantic whispers and naughty glances. 

The more she tried to change herself for him the more inadequate it seemed to him. You have changed - She heard this very frequently - sometimes from him and sometimes from her own conscious. She had come so far in this that today when she stood in front of a mirror she could hear her own reflection telling her this. 'Where is it all leading to.....' she wondered. ' I am not what he wants, I am not what I want either, then Who am I?'

Source: Google Images

मैं
~ वो ख्वाब हु जो तुम्हे पूरा करने के लिए खुद अधुरा रह सकता है
~ वो सितारा जो तुम्हारी ख्वाइश पूरी करने के लिय खुद टूट सकता है.
~वो आंसू जो ख़ुशी बनके तुम्हारे आँखों से झलकना चाहता है.
~वो बदल जो तुम्हे प्यार की बारिश मैं भिगोना चाहता है.
~ वो किताब जो अपने पूरा पन्ने तुमसे भरना चाहती है.
~ वो हवा जो तुम्हे अपने संग लेकर उड़ना चाहती है
~ वो परछाई जो अंधेरे मैं भी तुम्हारा साथ देना चाहती है.
मैं वह सब कुछ हु जो शायद तुम्हारा ख्याल नहीं है  ; तो फिर कौन हु मैं?

Translation

I am ~
A dream that could remain incomplete to complete you,
A star that could fall to make your wish come true,
A tear of happiness that wants to roll out of your eyes,
A cloud that wants to drench you in the rain of love,
A book that wants to fill its pages with you,
A gust of wind that wants to take you along for a flight,
A shadow which won’t leave you even in darkness,

I am all that which maybe is not your imagination; Then Who am I?

'Enough' she thought to herself. She hurriedly wiped her tears and got up to leave. She concluded she needed to find some answers. Not for anyone else but herself. She could not continue leading this life. She left this letter for him and walked out of that room and his life forever giving him what he asked for "Peace in Life".

To be contd....
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Comments

  1. You crafted this poignant tale really well! Couldn't read Hindi poem completely as some lines seems to be wriiten in some alien language:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your feedback - I checked the Hindi thing.... can you please confirm incase it is readable or not as I am not getting any error in it.

      Thx once again you make my day :o)

      Delete
  2. It's still not readable, but by few lines that I can read, I can say it's good one:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thx. I guess will put a translation also below just incase.

      Delete
  3. sacrifices may not be enough to earn the love of someone, just because people may take a lot of time to realize them. once they realize they will search and find you to tell the answer for the question, तो फिर कौन हु मैं?

    good attempt, keep writing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree...specially when they are one sided.Thanks so much, for the compliment,encouragement and the visit to my blog :)

      Delete
  4. Hi,

    Great!! all I can say. It not seems to be a first attempt. Really you know where to hit. Congrats, and go on..
    BEST OF LUCK...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you felt what I was thinking while writing this... Thx :)

      Delete
  5. Stories...I am a big fan of them:) I love the way emotions are expressed in words...and I liked the one in Hindi.

    Same like Tarang, i could read some lines.

    Now off to read the next part..!!!

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  6. Good one:)

    You know when a person is in love he/she tries to change himself/herself as such he/she could perfectly match what he/she thinks the other is expecting...in doing so they lose their originality and in the end lose the person even for whom he/she has changed so much...!!!

    loved the description :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, precisely, this is what happens in relationships when we reach a stage where we feel everything has changed, including us.

      Thanks for loving it, its truly encouraing as I usually don't write hindi lines more often :)

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  7. It looks to me you are quite good writing fiction bachpan se hi :D
    It's written in a nice manner and the hindi lines have made it more lucrative for a reader to go through it :)

    You know these lines are really superb. I liked it very much and think almost same for one of my dear friend :)

    I want to ask you something based on your fictions. :P

    Loosing originality is the worst thing. But as per the near ones around for them sometimes we have to change !

    I should leave some thoughts to comment on the next part of it :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He he :)

      I am a pathetic liar so have never cooked up stories in childhood. I don't know from where it has all come up in my mind right now though!!
      :P

      Oh please go ahead and ask me what is that you want to ask me on my fictions.

      We do need to change but then its not only we it has to be US in that change. Any relationship cannot have a one sided effort or input and it is that when the relationship seems draining.

      Remember it takes two to tango!

      :)

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  8. That's beautiful...poignant! Does not look like your maiden attempt. Good luck...waiting to check the continuation to this story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Kajal :)

      Writing fiction is something I thought I could never do till now!!

      And its second and final part is also done:

      http://privytrifles.blogspot.in/2012/04/reflections-2.html

      Delete

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~ Every word that you leave behind is an imprint on my soul ~

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