Accept & Adapt ~ This week







SALT ~ This week ~Accept


Sometimes in life we are faced with certain problems in life which have no solutions at all. The can just cause us pain and making living difficult for us with their sheer existence. And then there comes a time when it gets too difficult to handle and we crumble under its weight.


One of my friends comes from a broken family and survival for her each day is a battle. She finds it difficult to live with her parents who are constantly fighting with each other over any and everything. She is a CSA survivor and has gone through severe depression in her teenage days owning to all this chaos around her. Her parents have their own independent lives and are happy there. But they simply cannot think of separation for the fear of society. Maybe they don’t notice that their living together is the cause of so much of misery for their children who would have been happier had they decided to separate. All this is leading to nowhere. My friend is scared of a relationship, leave alone marriage. She thinks bitterness is the utmost fact of life and nothing exists beyond that. Love, care and concern are all white lies which we cover ourselves with to make our lives easy.


The first time she spoke to me at length about all this, I just held her hand for two hours as she kept on crying thinking about all the pain she had suffered till now.  As she calmed down, I asked her, ‘Can we do something about it?’ She looked at me, teary eyed and replied,’ No… we cannot. Nobody except God can.’
Me: But He has already done what He had to…correct?
She: Yes…He has. 
Me: Now it is time for you to do something.
She (confused): WHAT?
Me: Accept
She: Huh?
Me: Accept all your problems the way they are. The sun in hot, the earth is round. Can we do anything about it? No. You accepted it as a fact and continued with your life. Same ways accept all the faults in your life and move on. Learn from their mistakes and make yourself something you will be proud of. Because of few 1 % bad people you have met in life you cannot doubt the rest 99% people you are yet to meet.  You cannot change their life, but you can change yours. That is in your hands. 
She burst out into fresh bout of tears and continued crying for a while.  After sometime she composed herself, hugged me and left.
Few weeks later she called me to say she had joined a dance class and enrolled for a Masters program she always wanted to do. She added I have taken charge of my life now and I will make the most of it.

Lesson Learnt :Some questions in life are better left unanswered for two reasons – either the answer is not that important for us to know or perhaps we don’t have the strength to accept the answer.

P.S: I know it is easier said than done. But once done, there is no looking back.

P.P.S: I have been there and done that. Hence I know how exactly it feels and where does it hurt the most.


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PEPPER ~ This week ~Adapt

As I shared with you all last week sometime we have two new joinees at our office since past 1 month. At our usual coffee break one day I overheard one new joinee cribbing to someone on phone about our office and the way things were. The rant went on and on and on... I was getting tired so I left from there pretending as if I had not heard anything at all. ( On a separate note I sometimes wonder how those listeners can be so patient... I simply cannot stand cribbers!!)

I bumped into the other new joinee just a few steps away. Curiosity made me ask him how was he coping with his new job.He smiled and replied,' Oh it is simply wonderful. I am enjoying each and every moment here.I am learning so many new things which I never knew before.'

Now the wicked Me was tempted to ask him about the atrocities the other new joinee was talking about. So I Ms. Smart pants, asked him very sweetly,' What do you think about XYZ....ABC..listing all the things I had just heard.'

He said,' Oh that. I am trying to cope up with it' I was taken aback. I asked, 'What?' He continued, 'When I was small my grandfather had told me one day It is better to cover your feet than expect the whole world to be covered with a carpet. I remember those lines day in and out. I agree there are some loopholes here, but who does not. Even I am not perfect. I am trying to adapt myself to my surroundings so that I am able to give my best here. By making myself rigid I will create problems for my own self , as this will affect me everywhere I go. Why not change it here itself!'

I continued staring at him awestruck. That guy turned to go when he stopped midway and told me ' Don't think too highly of me. I just repeated what my grandfather had taught me. The day I can think of something like this myself will I consider it all worthwhile.'

And I kept standing there in the corridor with a huge grin on my face and loads of respect for this young man!


Lesson Learnt :Expecting everything around you to change as per your whims and fancies is very impractical. Being adaptive is the key to succeed.
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Comments

  1. Lovely! I love these salt and pepper posts...
    both the stories are inspiring to say the least.
    It's great that you are making a difference in so many people's lives, Me (w.r.t the first story).Kudos!

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    1. Thanks Uma, I am sure each one of us is making a difference in atleast one person's life. We might not be aware of it most of the time. In this case also the credit goes to that person and not me as she choose to change things for herself. And if she would not have I would not have been able to do anything for her at all.

      Glad to hear they inspired you dear!

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  2. Such a true post Me!
    If only we could accept everything in life that we cannot change and change things that we cannot accept, life would be perfect! :) It is more about perspective than about the issue itself.
    Adapt. I truly agree with the lesson learnt. I'm a bit stubborn with the closest ones and expect things to go according to my whims and fancies, but I keep learning that it will never happen all the time. :)
    Thank you for this post Me. Hugs!

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    1. Yes life would be perfect. But the sad fact is we are so used to this imperfection that any proximity to perfection jolts us badly.

      The pleasure is as always all mine. And thanks for such a wonderful comment.

      Hugs to you too !!

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  3. Accept- Yes completely agreed with you. I guess if God gives bouncers then it is left to us to judge it and play accordingly. If one sits and cries, nothing will help. I have a similar situation but if I'd sat crying then I would be a total loser I guess. It's good too see you are helping people. May be you are God sent to help them. See I told you, you inspire people. I'm happy to know you.

    Adapt- One should not be cribber. We should be inspired by flowers. You know some flowers are adorn the God's pictures or idols in temples, at home and everywhere they are present. Some flowers are laid during the time of death, some on crematory, and some flowers are are used for celebration during marriages. Women beautify their hairs by wearing them. And some flowers are left on the plants till they wither. So think if they started complaining how would the above mention things be possible? One should learn to adapt.

    I have done internships at different places with different atmosphere, friendly boss, bullying boss, and some boss they never showed me their face. But still I took the challenge. I want experience so I should adapt not the company or your boss. So one should fit into the shoes that is fit to the foot.

    I hope you have a safe travelling experience.

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    1. I agree to you Sridevi. Thanks for such lovely words about me.Nothing was preplanned for that girl everything happened at the spur of the moment and as you say it could His will that it happened like that.

      I simply loved the example you have given for adapt. Its beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing this.

      And yes I have always told you I admire your guts and attitude a lot. You really have the strength to face the world and show what a true winner is all about.

      Yup dear, back today morning..!

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  4. Salt: absolutely it is hard to accept and it takes a lot of courage and grit to do so. Good job you did by helping your friend achieve it and for yourself.

    Pepper: sounds very positive practical guy.

    Thanks a lot. Happy travelling :)

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    1. Thanks Mak for such a lovely comment and your wishes... I am back today morning and the first thing I did was to read this :D

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  5. Accept & Adapt - both very difficult but not impossible and very much the need of the hour. Your friend is lucky to have a good soul in you - her morale has been upped and gradually she will move on leaving the negativity but not forgetting the lessons. Wishing her the very best.
    Also respect to the new joinee- It is indeed better to cover your feet rather than expect a lush carpet everywhere. WOW.
    Finally hugs to you gal

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    1. Hugsss to you too :)

      Yup that new joinee's attitude is fabulous - He is like that bottle of energy when you are around him. His attitude rubs onto you!

      I wish your words come true for that girl. I want her to not forget the lessons and move on....

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  6. Very well done. Bought out the emotions nicely.

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  7. I think accepting something what ever it is takes a lot of courage especially if its accepting wrong one has done .. If people only learn to accept Then hopefully many mistakes will not be made .. TO start recitfying the first step is to accept there is something wrong ..

    and Adapting well in the modern world people are too rigid they take a long long time to adapt

    Bikram's

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    1. Very true lines Bikram. Thank you sharing it here for all of us... I wish we all could actually remember these small small things which would perhaps make our life heavenly!

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  8. I always tell people that when you can't change something, learn to accept it and try adapting yourself to the situation....I am also reminded of the prayer, "Dear God, give me the courage to change the things that I can change, the patience to bear with the things that I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference."

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    1. AMEN.

      This is one of my favourite poems Divya as I remember it everytime I feel helpless in front of God's will. Thanks so much for sharing it!

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  9. Salty and spicy ;). But don't tell me that I should stop pulling your leg and criticising.:P

    Accept: Accepting the circumstances is good but again I would say it's relative. Sometimes it's necessary to fight against the circumstances and try to change. She can give a try to make a change which is easy to say but could be very difficult but not impossible. She might have tried also. But I know some things are not in your hand.In short, according to me without giving it a try accepting the things as it is should not be a cup of tea for anyone. But there always exist few things which you might have to except as it is.

    Adapt: My favourite word. One should be adaptive to environment but should not be too much adaptive that you are too lazy to distinguish between bad and good things. One need to evolve to make a change in your environment may be for others as well. So again it's a diplomatic word.

    I wanted to take one example and have an idea as well but I feel I should discuss with you online sometime otherwise my comment can go to s* :P

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    1. As if I will tell and you will stop doing it :/

      You somehow seemt o be enjoying the art of dissecting my post bit by bit and bringing its flaws forth. And I am also not complaining... as I get to learn and improve.....

      For discussions you can always write to me or catch me online anytime soon :)

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    2. And no...please be rest assured your comments are not going to spam at all....!! :D

      Delete
  10. I have made some very serious mistakes in my life and hurt people who did nothing to deserve it. I beg their forgiveness, and admit my mistakes...hoping to grow into a better person and never making those mistakes again. Never doubt human kind...we are fallible, but good otherwise. If we all low ourselves time to observe, protect and forgive, we open a path of enlightenment that will make the world a better place...one person at a time.

    A very good post and THANK you very very much.

    Be well,
    Ron

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    1. Very true Ron.

      I agree to you. As we all say to err is human and that we have done. The next step for us should be the rectification and remember our mistake to never repeat it. That is necessary for us to evolve as better human beings.

      Thank you very much for being here today Ron, I truly appreciate it!

      Delete
  11. Those are profound lessons. The sun in hot, the earth is round. Can we do anything about it? Amazing words of wisdom. That young man has got another beamer.

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    1. Thank you so much Umaji...glad you loved it so much!!

      Welcome here, hope to see you more often :)

      Delete
  12. Such a lovely post. So profound. I agree that at times it is better to accept the reality and move ahead in life. That gives lot of peace. This constant battle to fight against reality will hurt.

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    1. Very true... this constant battle is actually never ending as there is no winner and it just keeps on causing lot of damage.

      Thanks for being here Sabyasachi, hope to see you often!

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    2. I found it very difficult to read your post today, as it was not very clear, and i had to strain my eyes to read, I would love to read, is there any thing that can be changed, font or size ???

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    3. Sure Angela, both can be done. My apologies for the inconvenience. Have made the necessary changes. Hope its readable now...

      Delete
  13. Accept:

    i know there are situations in life where you can never get out a solution from...you either have to live with it by accepting it or else live with it by ignoring it...i know as you said it's very easy said than done...but it's worth a try as it would make life much easier...!!!

    Awesome...way of inspiring loved it...!!!

    Adapt:
    Adaptability is the way of life...either you adapt and live or let the extremities rule over you and break you...

    one similar quot on adaptability " one should spread his legs as long as the blanket is it's always this way and not the other way around...!!! "

    your story also had one another good point to learn from...everyone in life has some or the other views on life and we should listen and respect them irrespective of their qualification,seniority etc...!!!

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    1. :)

      Sometimes life does not come with options and the only thing you can do is accept all that it brings along. This was one such situation where there was no action possible on it at all.

      This quote on adaptability is my personal favourite and I believe we all should follow it as it would make life much easier for us!

      Oh yes, very true I never thought like this about it - time for another salt and pepper I guess :D

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    2. Salt and Pepper is something which i love the most and am sure whatever you come up with your next post... it would at least be an inspiring one...!!!

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    3. :)

      Thanks, that's encouraging to read!

      I started writing this series just to be more regular in blogging but today when I look back at it I feel I have also learnt so much as not I see every incident as a lesson waiting to be learnt and shared here!

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