Choose & Speak ~ This week




SALT ~ This week ~ Choose

Sometime last month I received a call from my head-office informing me about the arrival of one of my collegues. Well, she is working for the same organisation as mine but for some different location. For some reasons she was going to work from our branch for atleast a month or so, the admin department informed  me. Usual to my nature I did not ask any further questions and said ok before hanging up.Maybe I was too occupied with my work to even give this thing a thought. I was like ' Ok..she is coming. Let her.' Within just 15 minutes I get a call from the reception informing about her arrival. I walk down to the reception to meet her as I feel courtesy demands this much rather than asking her to fend for herself.

We both struck an instant camaraderie and soon were chatting nineteen to dozen. [ I guess that's a typical trait of girls!!]. All the time we were talking I noticed that there was something amiss with this girl. I found it inappropriate to ask her about it so I left it at that. I ensured she had a desk next to mine, introduced her to all other colleagues and got all everything working for her. 

All this while as I continued doing stuff for her I never gave it any thought at all. Over the passage of time, as we continued meeting everyday I came to know she was undergoing some serious marital problems and hence was here on a break as things we getting too much to handle for her there. In her 1.5 months stay that she was here I suggested her loads of books and a few superb blogs that some of you write to read. We used to have lunch together daily as we talked about various things. And yes, we also went shopping on some occasions.

Yesterday as she left for her place, she hugged me tightly and started crying. I was a bit taken aback. I asked her if she wanted to stay some more here. She replied,

'You know when I came here I was blank. I just wanted to run away and I landed here. But now that I think of it maybe I was destined to meet you. I have started seeing things in a different perspective. I know we have never discussed my personal life and you have never given me any advice on it but somehow through you, your blog, other blogs and books you recommended I have gathered that much needed strength to face the storm that is coming my way. It makes a lot of difference to know that at least there are some people on this earth who are not interested in your personal life but you as a person. I was so fed up of all those personal questions back at my place that I had decided to quit.But now I want to face them all, smile at them and say Everything is fine and whatever is not, is none of your business.You perhaps don't realize all that you have done for me, but all that you have matters a lot to me. And it is truly cherished forever. Thank you so much!'

She left me a beautiful greeting card with a book. I was touched by her gesture.She is right in saying this, perhaps sometimes we just don't realise what impact do we have on others lives. A small act of kindness which was done purely unintentionally where I just wanted to say I am there in case you need me made someone so happy .

Lesson Learnt : As it is said in life , God chooses some relationships for us , like our family members. And there are some that we choose, like our friends. But I learned that there are some relationships that choose us. There is no other reason why we both met. It feels good to know that you are the reason behind someone's smile.


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PEPPER ~ This week ~ Speak

We have a lovely girl at our office named Apeksha (Name changed)  who is perhaps the youngest member of our office. She is very pretty and chirpy. Couple of months ago she had fallen in love with a guy who works in the nearby office. Though she never told anyone about it, but it was too evident as everybody used to witness them together hanging out, hand in hand like lovebirds at various places. Neha (name changed) is Apeksha's best friend. Since day one they have been together. Though Neha has been working with us for quite sometime now, she has virtually taken Apeksha under her mentorship.

It turned out that the guy Apeksha was seeing , was not good. He was known as a casanova and used girls for their money. Due to her care and concern Neha tried to warn Apeksha about all this. But Apeksha simply refused to pay an heed.Neha asked all of us to do something as she could not see Apeksha walking on a path of self ruin. Some of us did try but that made Apeksha more obstinate. She stopped speaking to Neha and gradually with each one of us. She would constantly be on the phone in the office also. We suggested Neha to leave it on Apeksha as now there was nothing more that we could do about.

Last week we came to know Apeksha had tried committing suicide. Though she was out of danger now but some of her internal organs have been damaged beyond repair, due to which she might never be able to conceive in life.It turned out that boy had used her emotionally, mentally, physically and financially before dumping her zealously as he simply vanished from the face of earth. It was too much for Apeksha to handle who had already woven dreams of a rosy future together.

In this entire scenario I am wondering; could it have been saved anyhow. I feel that maybe if Neha would not have spoken to Apeksha against that guy she would have remained friends with her and shared all her problems. Maybe that ways we could have saved her from all this trouble, by at least not leading to her suicide. She would have had an emotional support wherein we could have stopped her from taking this drastic step.

Lesson Learnt :In some relationships it is important to speak, while in some it is important not to.


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Comments

  1. wow ! sometimes without us knowing we touch people's lives . And at times even though we have good intentions ,it is interpreted as doing so out of malice. well written as always !

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    1. Thanks so much TTT, for such lovely words and your follow too- Its truly appreciated!

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  2. Wonderful thing you have done there PT :) Loved the salt.

    Pepper as always is thought provoking.

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  3. I really loved reading this post ME!
    There is a strange comfort that we feel around some people. The beauty of some relationships is such, that there is no sharing required.

    Very rightly said, 'There are some relationships that choose us'.. :)
    Lovely!

    Pepper:
    There are some things in a relationship, that are better left unsaid. Everyone doesn't like being 'told' .. and so we should be careful of our ways ..

    Very thoughtful..
    :)

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    1. Thanks so much Saloni.

      I agree to you, perhaps we give that comfort to people without us knowing we have. And yes, not everyone likes being told.

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  4. The SALT post was nice.We do not realise how are lives have an impact on another individual's life.You are right in saying some relationships choose us.I liked the thought in PEPPER...There are certain situations in life where we must not give advice.This will give the individual time and space to deal with his/her own problems and then make a choice.I could relate to this post.

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    1. Yes very aptly said.... glad you could relate to it!

      Thanks :)

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  5. As I mentioned in last salt and pepper that now are able to mix salt and pepper in right amount and choosing proper salt and pepper. :). It's improvement and comparison with yourself which brought you here I feel. I don't think that you wanted to proof others as well, do you ?

    Choose: I feel we choose lot of things and few things are uncertain which are always there but we do neglect as we see only one bright side(may not bright at end) for us. I don't believe in destiny much so, it's better I keep it short.

    Speak: I still figuring out the answer for this question. Is it really necessary for us ? But there are several persons who don't need it and still they did splendid job. So there is something else which goes along with it. If you know do let me know or we can discuss. why don't we ?

    "the only morality in this world is chaos. Unbiased, prejudice and fair. "

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    1. :D

      Wow, it is really flattering to hear that from someone who was my true critic. Don't tell me that critic has gone and is replaced by you who can only praise my work...!!

      I know you would not be able to connect with this salt and pepper as both are not in lieu of your thoughts..but yes it can always be discussed and argued upon.

      Chaos that is - in our arguments !!

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  6. I loved SALT & PEPPER. But PEPPER had a stronger impact on me. I have always believed that we have certain relationships in our life for a reason. I have had many friends for a season and it inevitably hurt when they moved out of my life. But till date, they have taught me something which I would have never learnt without them. :)
    I never thought that a piece of advice would ruin a person's life! Imagine being used in every way possible and then dumped. It would be very very hard to move on and trust people in a relationship anymore. I wish God gives her all the strength and love she needs to move forward.

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    1. I would say SAME PINCH to this comment Aaekay. My ex- friends have also taught me a lot of things and it has made me who I am today.

      And yes advice can actually hurt someone very badly. Ruin I am not too sure about it .

      Thanks for the wishes dear...hope they come true AMEN

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  7. I should say.."you are fantastic" my dear.. Congrats, you deserve the appreciation from the girl in the salt story..
    I like all of your salt & pepper stories..

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    1. Thanks a ton Sikha for such a lovely comment... :D

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  8. I don't know why this post helped me release all those tears i was trying to hide. You are wonderful <3

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    1. That as really touching comment Nikky, I am glad to know this post helped you do that, sometimes it becomes so important to simply vent it out.

      Thanks a ton dear, your comment just brightened my day :)

      Loads of love and hugs to you!

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  9. Choose:

    amazing...way to see things...and depict them through your lovely writing...
    it's really very weird at times that we meet a person for say few hours or days and they leave a huge impact on our lives at times... i have a similar experience when i met a person in train when i was traveling to Nagpur few years ago...though i was with him for only 10-12 hours...my advices on his personal life left him speechless...and he hugged me before he finally left ...with a a note "When people don't find ways to get out of their problems they need a messiah and for me you were the one"

    Speak:
    i was disappointed after reading the story...it's a problem with many of us...we don't take the advice of others and we don't share our problems...with anybody...and at the result left to suffer beyond repair...whom to blame? probably the girl because she never shared her life with anybody or even listened to anybody...am bit angry on the boy as well...how can anybody be like that ? but i cannot change the way any person is...but what i can do is to take it as a lesson from it that people can rip us apart if we indulge with wrong person in life.

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    1. WOW!!! Such a beautiful note.... You are truly inspiring I must say. It feels so blessed when you see such things happening to you as you see yourself in a completely different light altogether. Messiah or Nimit as I like to call it, the divine instrument God choose to convey His message. Thanks so much for sharing this story here, it truly made my day!

      Yes that is where our problem is. We don't discuss, expect people to understand the unsaid which is wrong. I don't know whom to blame as it is very difficult to judge that. But I consciously make it a point to convey all that I feel to people around me as I feel it helps a lot!

      Your last lines say it all. We cannot change anyone, but yes we can change the way we deal with people after listening to such lessons!

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