Analyze & Attempt ~ This week




SALT ~ This week ~ Analyze

One evening as I reached home from my office I saw some of my mom's friends biding good bye and leaving our house. Everytime my mother has such get-together with her friends she would be fully loaded with ammunition [ By ammunition I mean gossip here ] waiting for a target. That day she found me readily available.

( An honest confession here, I love these sessions as it gives me a lot of insight into people's psyche, though I pretend to be least interested!)

She began the firing, ' You know what happened with Sujata Aunty?' I looked at her with a puzzled look. As if waiting for this signal she started firing fast,' You know her daughter-in-law Sheila, look at her guts. She abused Sujata aunty today. Rama..... Rama ....what is happening to this generation I don't know. Imagine talking to your mother-in-law like this and using such words for her...chee...'

I continued drinking water as I nodded in agreement signalling her to continue.She paused for a moment and looked at me. I wondered what did that stare mean now [Well she has a lot of stares denoting various things, a detailed post on it some other time] Finally she broke her silence, 'So...what have you got to say about it? You are a staunch feminist and you talk about equality of rights...so called modern women and all...so tell me....how do you justify this behaviour?'

I smiled and replied,' For any justification I need to know the entire story.' This irritated her, she screamed at me,' I told you na the entire story. Sheila abused Sujata.' I  shook my head as I said' No..not possible.' Interuppting me she asked me, ' What do you mean?' Am I lying?'

I very coolly replied, 'No. I did not mean that. I mean this is not the entire story.See every action has a reaction. Now Sheila would not have just walked up to her mother-in-law and started abusing her unless she is mad, which I am sure she is not. Something must have happened before that. And most importantly what did Sujata aunty say after that? That is also important to know. It is not possible that she just left that place quietly without reacting.'

She: What is all this huh?

Me: Simple logic...even a street dog does not bite you without any reason unless its mad. And here we are talking about a lady who is MA, M Phil working in a reputed college as an assistant professor. I mean why would she do that?

She was too dumbstruck to reply. I made a quiet exit giving the reason of freshening up as I did not want to invite her wrath any further.

Here Sheila was declared a villian and opinion formed about her. Unknown to both these people there must a loyalist group for both who would be fighting within to prove their point. And all this on the basis of an interpretation. Who knows maybe Sheila is a victim, maybe she is not... but then who cares. What we need is gossip to churn after analyzing things the way we want to.

You know we all do this at some point. We listen to what we are being told and judge the person based on that. We interpret it the way we want to and not the way it is. It is imperative that we try to look at the holistic picture before concluding anything at all. I am sure a full size picture is better than a zoomed in view which highlights only one aspect.

Lesson Learnt : Every thing you hear need not be the truth. We all are judgmental at times about people, places and things in a short span without analyzing anything. We need to analyze things the way they are rather than the way they are being shown to us.
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PEPPER ~ This week ~Attempt

Mr. Harsh works at a Chartered Accountancy firm. 37 year old, decent gentleman, someone whom I look up to with respect. I admire his meticulous nature in dealing with things the most. Off late there were some new trainees who had joined the company for internship.

Once as I happened to be there for some work, he was talking to some intern. He signaled me with his fingers asking me to wait for two minutes as he finished his conversation with that intern. Sitting on the couch, I could actually over hear their conversation if I strained my ears a little bit.

That intern was sounding very dejected as he was sharing some problem with Harsh. He was simply not able to find solution to that problem and was trying to explain Harsh how futile all this attempts went. Harsh heard him out very patiently and then sat quietly for few seconds as if in deep thought.

He asked the intern , 'Have you tried all the possible outputs?'. The intern nodded a yes. ' You gave your 100%?' asked Harsh again to which he once again said a yes. ' Then where is the problem?' The intern kept looking at him to understand what exactly was he trying to say.

Harsh continued,' When a door is closed you first push to open it. If it does not you try to pull it and if this also does not then you try to slide it. If all of these fail you simply declare there is no door there. It is just a dummy. Same ways you gave your 100%, tried each possible way to get the results, but still you did not. So just think there is nothing more that you can do about it and move on. Always remember never to judge the other doors based on this or vice versa. And as it is said, you didn't fail you found out numerous ways which do not succeed.'

I loved his words. Such a wonderful leader, and what a lucky intern to having learnt such beautiful lessons so early in life.

Lesson Learnt : This week's lesson learnt is what Harsh said to the intern;

When a door is closed you first push to open it. If it does not you try to pull it and if this also does not then you try to slide it. If all of these fail you simply declare there is no door there. It is just a dummy. Same ways you gave your 100%, tried each possible way to get the results, but still you did not. So just think there is nothing more that you can do about it and move on. Always remember never to judge the other doors based on this or vice versa. And as it is said, you didn't fail you found out numerous ways which do not succeed.

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Comments

  1. Loved the message in the second story. It's indeed rare to find people like Mr. Harsh who are actual leaders.
    I'd have reacted in the similar fashion w.r.t. the first story. We need to form an opinion only after a good part of the story is out in the open. Even then, sometimes it is not true :-)

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    1. Very true Uma, sometimes it is not true but sometimes it is. Most importantly it is wrong on our part to judge someone based on few facts. I believe we are no one to issue a character certificate to anyone based on our views which could be biased for many reasons. And yes even I have done it many times knowingly, unknowingly and that is what I strive to cease doing.

      W.r.t Harsh, oh yes, he is fab! He is my role model. I truly admire his leadership skills.

      Glad you loved it :)

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  2. I loved reading both the salt and pepper this week Privy ! I love the way you bring out such truths with such elan. It is true isn't it? The action and reaction ? We usually tend to form an opinion depending on our proximity to the role - like a young girl may support the daughter in law or someone similar to her and the elderly women tend to support the mother in law and so on. Like, tenants understand tenants and the owners always blame the tenants. I mean, all we need to do is adopt a more open outlook. Beautifully brought out Me ! :)
    And Pepper was awesome ! To move on and not to judge everythign based on one experience - Thanks Me, thanks for making the weekend begin on a wise note :)

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    1. Thanks Toffee, your comment made my weekend :D

      I am glad you like this salt and pepper series of mine. Yes it is true. Action and reaction - and we all have faced it in some form or other. And you are right in saying proximity makes us form opinions. I think we all need to work on that and form a neutral opinion rather than a biased one.

      Mr. Harsh is truly an inspiration :)

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  3. aaah so loved Mr. Harsh's message; simply put and profound !

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  4. My friend,
    You are such a GREAT storyteller!! Never heard salt and pepper used like that before. Yes,you have a creative mind that pulls your readers in. Well done my friend.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Andy, thanks for all your appreciation. Just an attempt to share the lessons that life throws my way every week. :)

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  5. Well done again PT :)

    The first one is what really is the reality all around. We immediately take the side of the person who we are close to without knowing what would have prompted the thing.

    The Pepper is even better with people like Mr. Harsh hard to find.

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    1. Yes precisely. And that is where we all need to change. Mr. Harsh though a rarity but not extinct - is what I feel.

      Thanks Jas!!

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    2. I liked both the messages and it is very true, our minds are always judgmental, and we are ready to conclude, as you say, there is more to what one hears, its not the only reality, so never judge anyone.

      The second one is also very inspiring, thanks for sharing !

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    3. Yes Angela, sadly in today's world we all have become strongly opinionated about everyone around us without realising that person's true worth.

      Glad you liked them dear..!

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  6. Both are nice. I liked the Salt better. In Tamil there is a saying that roughly translates to 'What you see is false, what you hear is false, only what you inquire completely and fully and figure out is the truth' . Lovely writing! :)

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    1. Wow, thank you Jaish_vats for sharing this wonderful quote here with all of us. It is so true in today's world.

      Glad you liked my writing and could connect with the Salt!

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  7. Really great words. I should say, Harsh is a fantastic leader, and a great person..Please Convey my regards to him.
    Thank you dear for your " salt and Pepper" stories. They are really fabulous!!
    Take care

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    1. Will surely convey your best regards to Harsh - Am sure he is beaming with pride right now :)

      Thanks a ton for loving the Salt and Pepper series!!

      Delete
  8. Amazing 'Pepper Lesson'!
    Such inspiring words..totally loved it :)
    We all need that one person in our lives, who can lift us up with his/her wisdom, when we are stuck in the whirlpool of difficulties..
    I loved your 'Salt Lesson' too.. It is human nature to judge a book by its cover. We sometimes don't wish to see the larger picture while making judgements.. We are too content with the 'zoomed view'!
    Very nicely put :)

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    1. Yesss....we all could do with a 'Harsh' in our lives who could inspire us whenever we feel down...:o)

      The zoomed view looks good but only for a short while, then we should let our curiosity take control and go for more detailed view!

      Thanks, glad you liked it!!

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  9. We do have to avoid judging people even before hearing the whole story. And even if we do know, we should still give them some benefit of the doubt because we can't really put ourselves in their shoes to live the exact kind of life they are living.

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    1. Firstly thank you so much Joyce of I Take Off The Mask for being here today, its truly appreciated!

      Benefit of doubt is something maybe we all wish to give but are not able to most of the times. We constantly need to strive to reach this stage where we are not judgemental about anyone because of any bias.

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  10. Loved this post. I wish we all had a "Harsh" to guide us and I wish all company bosses were like him. But such wise words, I will remember that and pass that onto my kids. As always, when I need answers or guidance, the Universe provides it to me. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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    1. Oh wow Suzy..I am really honoured that you wish to pass these words to your kids. Will surely let Harsh know about this too :)

      I agree with you. Universe does have a beautiful yet mysterious way of giving us all the answers just when we are looking for them. And yes, we all could do with a 'Harsh' in our lives - May his tribe increase!

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  11. Loved both the lessons here! I am hooked to these:)

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  12. Analyze:
    This is the way of the world i am not criticizing anybody here...but the truth whenever people tend to take sides...whatever it may be...they simply ignore the other side of the story as if..."I was going out for a walk and a person came in and slapped me without any reason"...not possible right but when people take side...they tend to behave the same way...!!!

    Attempt:
    have heard a similar story...when you found one door locked it doesn't mean there's no way out...if it's locked break it..if you can't find any other door and see if it's locked or not...if all the doors are locked and you cannot break through then there has to be window to escape as it's the rule of the god if he closes one door ...he opens other one for us...!!!

    Inspiring one :)

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    1. You are not criticizing anyone you are saying the truth.We form opinions so quickly that we fail to analyse, interpret and understand. Which is wrong on our parts. Very aptly put!

      Wow...this "window " logic was awesome! Loved loved loved it , will remember it as though it sounds funny it is a fact :D

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