Self respect & Love ~ This week
I have always been told that I
lack self esteem. People feel I settle down for things too low than what I
actually deserve. But then I reason it out feeling I value people and
relationships more than myself. Hence I am able to do away with a lot of things
without bringing my self-respect in between. I believe I will be given respect
if I deserve it; there is nothing to raise a hue and cry over it.
But very recently an incident
shook me out of my reverie making me realise how important it is for you to
draw a line and define your respect. There is a very thin line of demarcation
between ego and self respect. And I know the difference very well. Perhaps the
fear of being tagged egoistic makes me do that, or maybe it is the need to be
loved and have people around at any cost.
I have been working with a
colleague of mine since past 5 years. Sharing 8-10 hours a day (sometimes 12!!)
working together as a team, it is obvious that a friendship strikes where you
tend to share personal things as well apart from the professional things. We
became good friends for we had a lot of common interests like reading, writing,
movies and most importantly the passion towards our work. To quote our head –
As a team we are both firebrand for we complement each other perfectly when it
comes to work. His thoughts and my actions work in perfect tandem getting
wonderful results.
Throughout these 5 years we
shared stories of failures, parental pressure to get married, office politics,
stupid jokes, heart breaks, deaths, treachery and many other aspects of life
creating a very strong camaraderie. And then suddenly one day LOVE entered into
our lives. No no… not between us. My colleague fell in love and then things
were never ever the same, as his girl friend could not bear the sight of me for
some reasons. The moment I came to know this I politely excused myself out of
their lives.
Our lives continued with the
pasts long forgotten. Sometimes I felt perhaps those 4 years did not exist
where we shared good working relations as right not even talking was an effort
when all of a sudden my colleague got dumped. He called me up one day and
shared all this as if nothing had ever happened between us. Like those couple
of months in between had vanished into thin air. He continued doing this a
couple of times much to my dismay. That is when I realized that he is taking me
for granted and I am the one who valued people and relationships was quietly
allowing him to do so.
It was my fault much more than it was his. Though it feels good to know that someone found me dependable but it also pinches to know that my genuinely caring nature was taken for a ride. One day I reached a level where I felt I had had enough and that is the day I decided to demand respect which I deserved rather than wait for people to give it to me.
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It was my fault much more than it was his. Though it feels good to know that someone found me dependable but it also pinches to know that my genuinely caring nature was taken for a ride. One day I reached a level where I felt I had had enough and that is the day I decided to demand respect which I deserved rather than wait for people to give it to me.
Lesson Learnt : Heights of taking anyone
for granted – Re entering someone’s life after leaving it more than once and
behaving as if nothing has happened! Respect people who genuinely care for you for
it does not take much time for their care to evaporate but it will take ages to
create that care again.
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PEPPER ~ This week ~ Love
My life till now has always been
a roller coaster ride. Well I have no qualms about it though. All of ours is
and I am sure had it not been we would have found it pretty boring. Who wants
to travel on a straight road devoid of any potholes already knowing the path?
Everyone wants some adventure and excitement in life which only unpredictable
paths with surprises can give.
Throughout my journey till here
the one thing that has helped me come out more strongly has been LOVE. In
various forms – like friendship, love, sisterhood, humanity and lastly the love
I have for life. I have been surprised that during times of troubles I have
always had unexpected people be by my side and as it is rightly said it is at
such times that you come to know the real strength of relationships. You come
to know who is true and who is not.
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I always tell my friends I love life a lot and
when you love someone so much you are willing to do anything for that person. I
face everything that it brings to me with a smile for I love it and I know it
loves me a lot too for having blessed me with so many blessings.
Lesson Learnt: Love always finds a way as it is the only thing which has the strength to fight the biggest battles with the tiniest of gestures.
