Through the memory lane
Today even after more than a decade of those incidents the
memory is still very fresh as if it just happened yesterday.
During my entire teenage years, both in school and college I was bullied and treated as non-existent, as if I never had any feelings. I was ridiculed upon for my weight, for my looks for almost everything related to me.
I was shunned and also boycotted from parties and get-togethers.
Here I am talking about the days much before Face book / twitter/ you tube was found. So other than meeting at school or outside school in person there was no other way to track your friends.
I still remember the time when during break I used to sit alone in a corner and eat my lunch trying to hold back my tears while the others were having fun with their friends.
Till date I still don’t have an logical reason for their behavior, but the only reasons that come to my stupid mind are:
-> I was from a middle class family which meant I could not splurge like them.
-> I was simple, both in my looks and dressing compared to their fashionable clothing.
I could be wrong but I can’t see any other rationale behind their behaviors. For them it might just seem like some harmless, innocent fun, but what they don’t realize is the amount of affect this had on my mind.
Times have passed and I have grown into a matured individual, but the scars still remain. My biggest fear still continues to be shunned and left alone in this world.
The zeal to conquest this fear is there but it definitely hurts thinking I was left alone when I needed them the most. My heart tugs every time I see a familiar face on "People you may know" or get a "new friendship request".
But then, life is a never ending challenge and I have vowed to face all of them with a smile. Fighting against the tides I am sure at the end I will emerge as a WINNER!
During my entire teenage years, both in school and college I was bullied and treated as non-existent, as if I never had any feelings. I was ridiculed upon for my weight, for my looks for almost everything related to me.
I was shunned and also boycotted from parties and get-togethers.
Here I am talking about the days much before Face book / twitter/ you tube was found. So other than meeting at school or outside school in person there was no other way to track your friends.
I still remember the time when during break I used to sit alone in a corner and eat my lunch trying to hold back my tears while the others were having fun with their friends.
Till date I still don’t have an logical reason for their behavior, but the only reasons that come to my stupid mind are:
-> I was from a middle class family which meant I could not splurge like them.
-> I was simple, both in my looks and dressing compared to their fashionable clothing.
I could be wrong but I can’t see any other rationale behind their behaviors. For them it might just seem like some harmless, innocent fun, but what they don’t realize is the amount of affect this had on my mind.
Times have passed and I have grown into a matured individual, but the scars still remain. My biggest fear still continues to be shunned and left alone in this world.
The zeal to conquest this fear is there but it definitely hurts thinking I was left alone when I needed them the most. My heart tugs every time I see a familiar face on "People you may know" or get a "new friendship request".
But then, life is a never ending challenge and I have vowed to face all of them with a smile. Fighting against the tides I am sure at the end I will emerge as a WINNER!
