Diary of a Lost Wanderer

Source: Google Images I have always believed that an end did not necessarily mean The End as it also means a new beginning. So here we are on the last day of the year, waiting for the new one to start with bated breath. Some of the things I think of when I look back at 2013:

Last year this time I was turning the pages of life exclaiming all is well to me.   This year all that I can think of is Que Sera Sera – what shall be, will be.   Source: Google Images

It's been a whirlwind of a year. So many ups and down, many accomplishments, so many failures- lost some people from my life, added some overall I can say a year well lived. And what better way to end it than getting to read a review of your blog in such beautiful words.   Source: Google Images   I am part of a wonderful online FB group called Indiblogeshwaris where we had decided to be Secret Elfs to each other and review our blogs. So my secret elf was a wonderful fellow blogger Ruchira Khanna who blogs at Abracadabra .   Some of the words from her review which were truly touching were:   " Such a person can only inspire others if she loves and respects her life, no matter what! And, yes she does. She treasures her life, come what may and that makes her blog shine amidst many who blog about similar things."   It is truly overwhelming to read such beautiful words for something that is so close to my heart - my blog and I cannot thank Ruchira enou

Source: Google Images   " He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”   ― Friedrich Nietzsche  

Come Saturday and I head to the nearest Coffee shop log stock and barrel. Me, my diary, my books and coffee – nothing can be more blissful than this after a long week of gruelling job. The coffee shop people know me well by now and hence leave me with my coffee in peace for hours that I spend turning page after page drowning in the writer’s imagination and try to scribble some of my own. Source: Google Images  

Today's PROMPT Source: Google Images

Today's PROMPT Source: Google Images  

Source: Google Images Today's PROMPT

  Today's PROMPT is  

Source: Google Images Today's THEME is

Source: Google Images   Today's PROMPT is

Source: Google Images The silence of the night seems to be talking to me; Unveiling new unheard secrets wanting me to see A handful of truth here and a pinch of lies there – It leaves me surrounded only with despair Engulfing me in its quietness, it holds me from within... Joining together all the pieces which seem missing!

I strongly believe - Every time you have one reason to frown life sends you at least ten reasons to smile! Just few days back I had been lamenting how I have been not able to write the way I used to before for various reasons and today morning I woke up to a lovely comment by a wonderful fellow blogger Jyostna Bhatia who blogs at Dreams and Dimensions  on my I Love page. She has chosen me as one of the people for the Liebster award she recently won .   The moment I read this my smile widened for a very simple reason - it reminded me of the time when I had won my first award and the excitement I had then. I remember reading a comment there " Hope you are as happy as this for all the awards you get !" and I had replied " Yes I am sure I will be !" . Till date I am as excited and happy about awards as I was then for they remind me I am thought of. I am about to complete 3 years of blogging, some 400+ posts, 106 followers, 7k+ comments, and 1 lakh + footst

Source: Google Images I had read a story few years back which spoke about the If-Then syndrome we all suffer from. We tend to associate our happiness with various incidents of our life and in the end realise that it was all not worth it. What we forget it that happiness is a decision we need to make. It is a choice. It is everything but confusion. If you want to be happy – BE. As simply as it could be said. Why do we need a reason to be associated with it. Many times when I am smiling in the morning or my status is a happy one I am asked for the reason and I just say because I felt so. In the morning when I got up today I felt that I should smile more today and I just did that. And if you really need reasons to be happy there are so many of them all around you. Starting with being alive, being healthy to almost everything that you can associate it with. 

The warm rays of the morning sun could do nothing to decrease the chill Sarayudevi felt in her bones. At 85 there was not a single limb in her body which did not pain with every movement. “ Old age comes with its own problems ” she mused adjusting her thick quilt and turned to her left trying to reach for a box. Hidden below those bundled blankets and shawls was a huge mahogany box. Old and worn out, the box eluded a rustic charm of its own. The golden rays of the morning sun creating a halo around her lent a shine to her silver hair. A criss-cross of wrinkles covered her entire face as she sat hunched on the bed holding the box closely to her face with an anticipated look on her face. Caressing it lovingly like a new born baby Sarayudevi felt its rough exterior through her wrinkled hands. Source: Google Images

  Source: Google Images For everyone the last lap of the race is the most difficult phases of all, because one it is the most decisive one hence of utmost importance and secondly it is phase you reach having already used all your strength only to realize you need some more of it. The challenge is to continue the race putting in perhaps more than what you can or already have! As at that time winning does not become important what is important is to reach the end. When I began this year all that I had was hope in my heart, few dreams in my eyes and loads of desires within me to make all of them come true. As the year comes to an end I still have only hope with me. The dreams have changed and so have the desires but what has not changed is the zeal to still move on. Some of those dreams crashed badly, making me bleed as they died while some desires took away a part of me when they left. And yet there is something that is holding me from inside as tight

Every morning I drive down to my office through the same route; am sure each one of us does that.  But today morning I noticed something which was unusual.  I was supposed to go for a client meeting but out of my usual habit I ended up being en-route to office like every day. I noticed that it did not take much of an effort to be on the road I knew even the pitfalls by heart, remembered the number of bumps, the timing of the traffic signals and at some places even the junctions where high traffic was possible. This was all due to the habit of doing something consistently for so many years. Source: Google Images

I admired the beautiful setting of roses in the elaborate arrangement Ranjit had sent thinking “ He is really crazy…. “And began reading the card attached to it. Source: Google  Images   To the beauty of my life, This is how you make my life ~Beautiful, gracious, fragrant and blissful! – Love R <3 P.S: This post has been removed as it has been selected to be a part of a book. *-*-*-*

Last weekend I was walking down the road from my office to a client meeting when I saw this young boy of about 8 years who was selling balloons and toys by the road side. Amongst all the colourful wares he had there was something that caught my attention. It was a small white bottle which had soap water to make bubbles.   Something in that bottle made me stop in my tracks and go back to him . Source: Google Images

I have always believed that at times in life when you seem to be losing the meaning God sends you signals in His own special way just to remind you - Life is all about it's ups and downs. And yet you need to keep loving it. Since the time I have began writing, more often than not such reminders come in form of beautiful blog awards which I get from my lovely blogger friends. It is with awards like this that I am reminded of the reason why I blog purely for the love of it.

Sometime in the month of February , I came across a very interesting contest on my Facebook feeds. The contest was being held by Half Baked Beans Publishing where they were looking at newbie authors to get published with them. They would be selecting people and mentoring them to publish their work. The criteria – an introduction of yourself or your story in the most innovative manner and those ideas would win. The last date for submission was 8 th March.

Far in the left side is my name - - -  feels so surreal

“ Some things in life are blessed for they are untouched by the eternal truth of life change. Anytime you can come back to find them just the way they have always been . “These were some of the thoughts running in my mind as the rickshaw moved into the small gullies of my hometown. I was home after almost 2 years and yet it was all the same. Off late I had began to hate change. Process changes at work place, boss change, weather change, policy change of the country… it was all so difficult to cope up it. It all left me flabbergasted.   In such a moment of frustration I had also decided I need a change (yes! That’s exactly the word) and booked my tickets to come here. Source: Google Images

~ To ~ Another part of me Today morning I woke up dreaming about you. Heavy rains and a gloomy weather made me want to sleep some more. With my eyes still closed I stretched my hand towards the right side of the bed half expecting you to be there. The emptiness which met my hands woke me up rudely from slumber.  I opened my eyes to an empty bed, empty house and perhaps an empty me with nothing else but your memories that hung around from the walls carelessly. I slowly got on my feet and walked a few steps painstakingly only to come face to face with you. There you were looking at me with a haunted look in your eyes, tugging my heart. Somehow I could never part with this picture of yours. Maybe it was your eyes that captivated me every time I looked at it. 

From the day we are born we are in a race. A pursuit to happiness, to do everything in this world that can result into joy, name, fame, wealth and success.   We begin with learning. We learn how to walk, talk, understand, comprehend, analyze, decide and do. We understand the relationships around us, we begin to love some, hate some and maybe love & hate a few too. We dream of beautiful tomorrows, we plan and we envisage.  Source: Google Images

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” ― Oscar Wilde  Not very long ago I had began a journey with thousands of dreams in my eyes, some vague, some hazy while some completely non-existent. On this journey I met some wonderful people whom today I call my friends. You not only helped me see my dreams more clearly but also everytime I was down you sent some of your strength, belief and faith to keep me going. You fought, you screamed, you made me laugh, you commented, you encouraged, you pushed, you ensured that I don't lose the sight of the dream. 

And before I knew it, I had hit ‘Send’ leaving the ongoing battle between of should I or should not in my mind as it is. My heart was fluttering inside; feeling trapped, raring to spread the wings and take a flight of its own. And a resignation was all that could set it free! This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend , an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda  

Source: Google Images I burnt a tear today just to see what remains after it's all over; Clutching it tightly I set it on fire breathing excitedly as it began its dance of desire.  Flame after flame it captured it all.. Yet leaving behind nothing at all.  I rummaged through the remnants expecting some dreams and hopes held along with memories to be there, but found nothing except despair!

Many times in life we feel we are on the right track as we take step after step in that direction. The way ahead seems so clear at that moment with the warm sun rays hugging us, the wind ruffling our hair, a pleasant music playing in our heads and the destination beckoning us with open arms.  Source: Google Images There is a sprint in each step as our heart is flying miles ahead of our thoughts. Aspirations mixed with desires, emotions with fear and dreams with ecstasy creating a heady feeling, making you feel giddy at one moment and taking you on a high the other. Yet we stride ahead.